1. Liars and cheaters do not trust
A liar or a cheater is always apprehensive and is always
trying to find something that will help them not trust the
person. As they know what people are capable of.
Trust will always be the point of dispute for a very long time
if you are in a relationship with them.
2. The will always act to be the victim
Liars and cheaters have a bad habit of self pity. They always
treat their pain to be the greater pain. Even if you fall off a
tree and break the bones in your body, their pain of a mere
knife cut will be more. Since such people are constantly
trying to justify the fact that they lie, they are always finding
reasons to help them advocate the case.
Such people will always have bigger problem from you. At
times when you are explaining a tragedy to such people
they will gradually move the focal point of the relationship
towards themselves.
3. Liars and cheaters are always apprehensive
Such people have so much to fight for. They have so much
to hide that they are always apprehensive even when they
go out for groceries.
Simple plans will never be simple for the two of you. It
could be anything, it could be a simple walk out in the park
but it won’t be simple in any way.
Either you didn’t ask them before choosing a park or you
didn’t ask them hard enough so maybe you don’t want them
to go which brings me to another point.
4. They will Pick the most stupid fights
This is a huge tell sign. It could be a tell sign for a lot of
things though, like attention seekers would also do this.
Liars and cheaters are always on the lookout for the
reasons to fight, subconsciously. As they know, one day
every lie of theirs will come out in the open.
They subconsciously gather information that will help them
portray themselves as the victim and all their actions
justified after that is being done to them.
5. Liars and cheaters are charmers
Liars and cheaters are charmers and win over people easily.
They will always be the life of the group. They make you feel
special which they know matters to you the most because
they have no limits when it comes to lying.
They would tell you the most amazing and hopeful things
about what you want to hear.
6. Liars and cheaters have loopholes in their
stories
Since liars and cheaters are used to lying, they don’t mind
adding a few lies here and there. This when you ask them
about the same story, they will never tell the story the same
because liars themselves don’t know which lie they said to
someone. Such loopholes, if exposed or questioned, will
always be welcome with an I-knew-you-don’t-trust-me fight.
This only ends in you being the guilty one. So, be prepared.
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
Life Lessons a Mosquito Can Teach You
"If you think you are too small to make a
difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” –
attributed to the Dalai Lama XIV
Bzzzzzzz. We all know this sound. We all know the nightmares and suffering it can produce during our much-needed and desired sleep. We all know when this creature is approaching. Its revealing buzz, simply unstoppable and greatly feared by us. This amazing little creature is even more amazing than we think. Its simplicity can teach us more than what we could ever have imagined…
1. Never Give Up
What a cliché. Never give up. It is one of those life tips
that we find in almost every life guide. Far from being
useless, it is surely a must. Mosquitoes get this idea
pretty well. They can simply pass all night trying to get
into our ear, or trying to suck all of our blood. If a pea-
sized creature can give its maximum effort, why can’t
we? We should at least be able to put up with a
mosquito. We can always go farther, and when it
comes to our dreams and passions, never giving up is
the key to achieving these.
Never forget that refusing to give up is a way of seeing
life. It is about learning that, even though life is
supposed to flow, part of this beautiful experience is
building the momentum and going for it! Just as
Thomas A. Edison said, “Results! Why, man, I have
gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things
that won’t work”.
2. Don’t Underestimate
We tend to underestimate things for their appearance.
Size, for example, is one of those misleading qualities.
We might think that because something or someone is
small, it is powerless and inferior, like an ant or a
mosquito. Did you know that an ant can hold more
than 100 times its own weight? Or that mosquitoes are
the deadliest animals on the planet?
Underestimating someone’s abilities because of their
appearance is just insanely misleading and
counterproductive. Like the example of the ant and
the mosquito, we find countless instances of
underestimation in life, such as underestimating the
ability of your mom to help you with your love
problems. If we want to flow in life, we should
acknowledge people for theirinner qualities and not
for their exterior appearance or the first impression
they give. Just as Toba Beta said: “Don’t belittle anyone
who you don’t recognize. Don’t be fooled by anybody
who underrates you”.
3. Accept
Ultimately, there will be times when we can´t beat the
mosquitoes. Sometimes they are just too fast and
somehow too powerful. It is a fight between the
mosquito and our will for sleeping. It is then we have
to learn to accept, which is one of the only ways to
really win over mosquitoes, or to manage life’s
casualties without painful attachments.
Accepting is one of Buddha´s life lessons, which
certainly give us the key forflowing in life and
managing life’s craziness. It is easier to flow with the
water current than to resist it. Accepting is learning
to let go, to be with the experience and don’t fight it.
Sometimes in life we find something we call Reverse
effort. As Alan Watts once wrote: “When you try to
stay on the surface of the water, you sink; but when
you try to sink you float. Whosoever would save his
soul shall lose it”.
4. Don’t Fear Taking Risks
Mosquitoes take this too far, yet they teach us that
taking a risk is worth it. For them, taking a risk is
ultimately necessary, for it is one of their ways to get
their food. Mosquitoes take the risk of fighting with an
animal which is enormously much bigger than them.
They don’t even try too hard to go all in, they just do it,
and even try to get into our brains! How courageous is
that?
Risk-taking is one of those much-feared things. It is
totally natural, for breaking out of our comfort zone is
hard and takes boldness. Yet risk-taking is certainly the
best way to learn, experience, and do the undone. We
humans are instinctively adventurous and committed,
just like any other being. This is what has led us to
thrive, evolve, and advance. Let’s go with our intuition
and instinct and use our abilities to fulfill our dreams
and passions. Just as Albert Einstein said: “A ship is
always safe at the shore—but that is NOT what it is
built for”.
5. Share
We are part of this universe, this world, this reality.
This is something we have forgotten. We are part of it,
rather than, owners of it, which is what we usually
think. Even though we might think that the former is
not true, our actions say the contrary. The way we
abuse the natural world, other beings, and even our
own species, proves that we want to conquer rather
than share and live as a whole.
Mosquitoes teach us that sharing is necessary for
living, for space and resources are a need of all.
Mosquitoes have equal right to live and be here. They
been here longer than us, for about 170 million
years already! If we learn to share not only space and
resources, but love, kindness, help, food, time, and
attention, our social life skills will get a boost.
Everyone loves to share with a gentle, sharing, and
respectful person. And not only that, the well-being
and satisfaction you feel from living interconnected
with all beings and sharing with others is priceless and
nameless. Just as Snoop Dogg said: “It ain’t no fun if
the homies can’t have none”.
6. Be Humble
Yes, we are advanced; yes, we have a lot of money;
yes, we have big houses, cars, buildings, and guns. Yes,
we have complex minds, prodigy pianists, violinists…
Yes, a mosquito drives us insane. Yes, we can´t
control the weather. Yes, we are powerless in front of
an angry volcano, a furious tornado, a violent tsunami.
We are not the most powerful, nor invincible, nor
infinite. We are mortal just as any other being. We are
in a continuous process of evolution and thriving. Life
is beautiful. We are here to coexist rather than to
oppress or repress. Mosquitoes teach us this simply
and easily by demonstrating to us that in a room, in
the forest, or anywhere, we are almost powerless in
front of them, and if we have insect repellent, we are
powerful for a couple of hours just to return to our
normal, ordinary, human state.
Life is much more enjoyable when we live together
and share together. There is no need to show
superiority over others. If we ever have the idea that
we are superior and invincible, certainly life will take
the task of showing us the contrary. Just as Thomas
Henry Huxley said: “Sit down before fact as a little
child, be prepared to give up every preconceived
notion, follow humbly wherever and to whatever
abysses nature leads, or you shall learn nothing. I have
only begun to learn content and peace of mind since I
have resolved at all risks to do this. ”Good things come
when we are open to live! Go out and live life! Listen to
the mosquitoes and their wise bzzzzzzz!
Powerful Quotes That Will Maximize Your Potential
There are days when getting up early is so difficult to
do. Even if you have been in the game for quite
sometime staying inspired to produce results all the
time seems impossible to achieve.
Some people feel stuck
doing their job because of
various circumstances.
Sadly, those who are
unmotivated in their
business end up slacking
off and not delivering their
best performance on their
projects.
To prevent you from being
idle or discouraged, be
reminded of Confucius’
words:
If this message is not enough to get you on your feet,
here’s a collection of powerful quotes from great
minds that will help you maximize your daily potential.
1. “It’s not what you achieve, it’s what you overcome.
That’s what defines your career.” –Carlton Fisk
2. “Failure doesn’t mean you are a failure it just means
you haven’t succeeded yet.” – Robert H. Schuller
3. “Think big and don’t listen to people who tell you it
can’t be done. Life’s too short to think small.” – Tim
Ferriss
4. “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t
change it, change your attitude” – Maya Angelou
5. “If you don’t build your dream. Someone will hire
you to help build theirs.” – Tony Gaskins
6. “Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that
there is something inside you that is greater than any
obstacle.” – Christian D. Larson
7. “If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never
have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you
don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.” –
Nora Roberts
8. “No man can succeed in a line of endeavor which he
does not like.” – Napoleon Hill
9. “The price of success is hard work, dedication to the
job at hand, and the determination that whether we
win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to
the task at hand.” – Vince Lombardi
10. “You never stop earning when you do what you
love.” – Asha Tyson
11. “Communication–the human connection–is the key
to personal and career success.” – Paul J. Meyer
12. “What is the recipe for successful achievement? To
my mind there are just four essential ingredients:
Choose a career you love, give it the best there is in
you, seize your opportunities, and be a member of the
team.” – Benjamin F. Fairless
13. “I think everyone should experience defeat at least
once during their career. You learn a lot from it.” –
Lou Holtz
14. “Keep away from people who try to belittle your
ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really
great make you feel that you, too, can become
great.” – Mark Twain
15. “Don’t set compensation as a goal. Find work you
like, and the compensation will follow.” – Harding
Lawrence
16. “Great work is done by people who are not afraid
to be great.” – Fernando Flores
17. “The only way to get people to like working hard is
to motivate them. Today, people must understand
why they’re working hard. Every individual in an
organization is motivated by something different.” –
Rick Pitino
18. “Find out what you like doing best and get
someone to pay you for doing it.” – Katherine
Whitehorn
19. “The only person you are destined become is the
person you decide to be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
20. “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence,
therefore, is not an act but a habit.” – Aristotle
do. Even if you have been in the game for quite
sometime staying inspired to produce results all the
time seems impossible to achieve.
Some people feel stuck
doing their job because of
various circumstances.
Sadly, those who are
unmotivated in their
business end up slacking
off and not delivering their
best performance on their
projects.
To prevent you from being
idle or discouraged, be
reminded of Confucius’
words:
If this message is not enough to get you on your feet,
here’s a collection of powerful quotes from great
minds that will help you maximize your daily potential.
1. “It’s not what you achieve, it’s what you overcome.
That’s what defines your career.” –Carlton Fisk
2. “Failure doesn’t mean you are a failure it just means
you haven’t succeeded yet.” – Robert H. Schuller
3. “Think big and don’t listen to people who tell you it
can’t be done. Life’s too short to think small.” – Tim
Ferriss
4. “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t
change it, change your attitude” – Maya Angelou
5. “If you don’t build your dream. Someone will hire
you to help build theirs.” – Tony Gaskins
6. “Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that
there is something inside you that is greater than any
obstacle.” – Christian D. Larson
7. “If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never
have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you
don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.” –
Nora Roberts
8. “No man can succeed in a line of endeavor which he
does not like.” – Napoleon Hill
9. “The price of success is hard work, dedication to the
job at hand, and the determination that whether we
win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to
the task at hand.” – Vince Lombardi
10. “You never stop earning when you do what you
love.” – Asha Tyson
11. “Communication–the human connection–is the key
to personal and career success.” – Paul J. Meyer
12. “What is the recipe for successful achievement? To
my mind there are just four essential ingredients:
Choose a career you love, give it the best there is in
you, seize your opportunities, and be a member of the
team.” – Benjamin F. Fairless
13. “I think everyone should experience defeat at least
once during their career. You learn a lot from it.” –
Lou Holtz
14. “Keep away from people who try to belittle your
ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really
great make you feel that you, too, can become
great.” – Mark Twain
15. “Don’t set compensation as a goal. Find work you
like, and the compensation will follow.” – Harding
Lawrence
16. “Great work is done by people who are not afraid
to be great.” – Fernando Flores
17. “The only way to get people to like working hard is
to motivate them. Today, people must understand
why they’re working hard. Every individual in an
organization is motivated by something different.” –
Rick Pitino
18. “Find out what you like doing best and get
someone to pay you for doing it.” – Katherine
Whitehorn
19. “The only person you are destined become is the
person you decide to be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
20. “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence,
therefore, is not an act but a habit.” – Aristotle
Negative Thoughts That Will Shatter Your Dreams
The road to achieving our dreams can be scary. In fact,
the fear in our minds can hold us back from so much
that we don’t even take a step toward our dreams. It’s
as if the more the dream matters to us, the less likely
we are to even pursue the dream.
The dream ends up being
talked about and imagined,
but never actively chased .
For your dream to become reality you must
have a single minded focus and the only way
to do that is to shatter these six thoughts.
1. I’m not good enough
If we do not feel worthy of our dreams, we will settle
for less than what the world has to offer. We shrink
back to a life that is comfortable even when we hate it.
Most people underestimate their skill and knowledge.
I am sure that you do as well. You are worthy of your
dreams. You do have what it takes inside of you.
2. I don’t know how
This is one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves.
Of course we don’t know how when we have never
done it before. There comes a point in life where we
start to believe that we need to have the answer. This
is not reality. We should build learning into our lives
until we are six feet under. If you don ’t know how you
can find someone that does. If you can’t find someone
that knows, there are blogs, YouTube, google, and
many other resources to help you learn how.
3. It’s not realistic
Realistic is safe and boring. It is a statement that
signals adulthood and a loss of imagination. If you
want to achieve your dreams, you must be a little
unrealistic.
Every person throughout history that is remembered
has been unrealistic. If your dream feels unrealistic
you are right on track to greatness. Keep pushing
through the doubt of realism to achieve your dream.
4. What will people think?
The fear of what others will think kills dreams. It can
cause us to hide behind a mask of our true identity.
Others will not understand and that is okay.
To accomplish greatness it requires some people to
not get it. There are people that will hate your dream,
however, there is a bigger group of people waiting for
you. Focus on the people that love your dream and
ignore the haters.
5. I don’t have time
It is easy to focus on the lack of time when chasing a
dream does not require much. It will require you to be
focused and cut the fat out of your life. Many say they
are hustling when they aren’t. You have more time
than you think you have. A few days in the week,
journal and record where you are spending your time.
I am sure that you will find some extra minutes or
hours.
Your dream may require a little less sleep, but it is
worth it.
6. It has already been done
It is easy to think that if it has been done it is not
possible. The reality is that this makes your dream
easier in a lot of ways. There are a lot of disadvantages
to being first to the market. If someone else did it
already, it means that there is a proven market.
Your dream may have been done, but not by your
unique self. You have certain life experiences and
knowledge that applied to life will paint your dream a
little differently than everyone else.
Time and focus will fix many shortcomings. Just keep
walking it out and you will be amazed at your
progress. Your dreams are possible if you continue to
be faithful and keep focusing your energy toward your
dreams. Over time you will see your dreams come to
fruition.
the fear in our minds can hold us back from so much
that we don’t even take a step toward our dreams. It’s
as if the more the dream matters to us, the less likely
we are to even pursue the dream.
The dream ends up being
talked about and imagined,
but never actively chased .
For your dream to become reality you must
have a single minded focus and the only way
to do that is to shatter these six thoughts.
1. I’m not good enough
If we do not feel worthy of our dreams, we will settle
for less than what the world has to offer. We shrink
back to a life that is comfortable even when we hate it.
Most people underestimate their skill and knowledge.
I am sure that you do as well. You are worthy of your
dreams. You do have what it takes inside of you.
2. I don’t know how
This is one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves.
Of course we don’t know how when we have never
done it before. There comes a point in life where we
start to believe that we need to have the answer. This
is not reality. We should build learning into our lives
until we are six feet under. If you don ’t know how you
can find someone that does. If you can’t find someone
that knows, there are blogs, YouTube, google, and
many other resources to help you learn how.
3. It’s not realistic
Realistic is safe and boring. It is a statement that
signals adulthood and a loss of imagination. If you
want to achieve your dreams, you must be a little
unrealistic.
Every person throughout history that is remembered
has been unrealistic. If your dream feels unrealistic
you are right on track to greatness. Keep pushing
through the doubt of realism to achieve your dream.
4. What will people think?
The fear of what others will think kills dreams. It can
cause us to hide behind a mask of our true identity.
Others will not understand and that is okay.
To accomplish greatness it requires some people to
not get it. There are people that will hate your dream,
however, there is a bigger group of people waiting for
you. Focus on the people that love your dream and
ignore the haters.
5. I don’t have time
It is easy to focus on the lack of time when chasing a
dream does not require much. It will require you to be
focused and cut the fat out of your life. Many say they
are hustling when they aren’t. You have more time
than you think you have. A few days in the week,
journal and record where you are spending your time.
I am sure that you will find some extra minutes or
hours.
Your dream may require a little less sleep, but it is
worth it.
6. It has already been done
It is easy to think that if it has been done it is not
possible. The reality is that this makes your dream
easier in a lot of ways. There are a lot of disadvantages
to being first to the market. If someone else did it
already, it means that there is a proven market.
Your dream may have been done, but not by your
unique self. You have certain life experiences and
knowledge that applied to life will paint your dream a
little differently than everyone else.
Time and focus will fix many shortcomings. Just keep
walking it out and you will be amazed at your
progress. Your dreams are possible if you continue to
be faithful and keep focusing your energy toward your
dreams. Over time you will see your dreams come to
fruition.
Monday, June 13, 2016
BEYOND KSU : AKSU Matriculates 1,823 for 2015/2016 Academic Session
The Akwa Ibom State University (AKSU), on Friday, matriculated a total of 1,823 for the 2015/2016 academic session.
The Vice Chancellor speaking during the event, advised the matriculants to be security- conscious due to crime increase in the country.
According to him, out of a total of 2,340 students that were admitted in the 2015/2016 academic session only 1,823 were cleared for matriculation.
He equally advised the students to avoid getting involved in acts that can jeopardize their studentship.
The Vice Chancellor speaking during the event, advised the matriculants to be security- conscious due to crime increase in the country.
According to him, out of a total of 2,340 students that were admitted in the 2015/2016 academic session only 1,823 were cleared for matriculation.
He equally advised the students to avoid getting involved in acts that can jeopardize their studentship.
[MUST READ] : The Ghost-Worker Aristol
Isn't it a national tragedy that the only collateral you have in living a comfortable life are your big bo0bs, curves, spotless face, smooth skin, brazilian wig (s) and contacts of pot- bellied men and young marauding boys who are ready to debase you into a sexual commodity?
It is painful that your life is actually dormant. You post pictures of your private embodiments online and physically, you convince your low self esteem that your internal deficit can be nutrient via exorbitant materialistic appearance. Even when you truly know that you live a faux life, you convince yourself with the shambolic and fading momentary gains that follows your lack of respect for yourself.
You make a photo collage of pictures hueing hotel rooms, shopping centres, different estates, political and highbrow social gathering in order to convince your low-self-esteem that you're actually better than those who aren't traders in your trade. Infact, for everyday you go out, you make a picture of your wears to intimidate your mirror self and encourage your low self esteem. You award yourself a title of "big girl" to cover your chronic lowself esteem and poverty mentality. Yes, poverty mentality I said, you know why? Life is not easy, only those who fight genuinely overcome that poverty, you who took the easier way by exploiting your natural commodity do it because of poverty mentality, because there was never a struggle, only a jungle of immorality and "sexual rascality". How can you even feel special? Why? You're a ghost worker in the field of life, you use your easier way to milk from the hard work of married women, genuine hard working ladies, sisters and brothers of those you sell your wares to. You're a sexual and social thief. A home breaker. An economic saboteur. A low life and the lowest slide in the cadre of feminine virtuousness, NO! I meant virusness, because you share that one too from one man to another. How can you call yourself a big girl for affording the expensive things of life by trading your punany? Why should you feel special when you have commercialise that space to escape your lowself esteem?
...and then, constantly, you ply highways every weekend to different towns looking for buyers. You constantly put your life at risk and the happiness of your parents at risk. Those poor parents, praying that you will make a fine woman but you make yourself a fine harlot. You create a following by making the vulnerable ones feel you're a big girl, they want to be big girls too, so they want to be like you. As you understand their vulnerability, you recruit them to join you in order to boost your low-self- confidence. ..and you make low other persons. You're weak, internally empty, internally poor even though outwardly expensive. Even those men you ride on their donis price you as a commodity. Infact, you're a potential ritual animal to increase their fortunes. This same you, who have pillaged the moral valley would dare want your spoils of war to be: Good marriage, wealth, God-fearing boyfriend and husband who won't cheat on you, many children after marriage, family love and even to be the President's wife. You're a selfish being, carlous at its best because you would have deprived others who have worked for it genuinely, scheming your way as usual to be there. But there's a simple judgement for you. . An empty end awaits you. You're a ghost worker of success.
Here are the true feminine heroes:
The OK goods sellers, the true Make-up artists, the educated feminists, the female bloggers, teachers and hawkers. The female bankers, lecturers, Judges and the virtuous illiterate women out there.
You're all my heroes, you have a class.
You're the real workers while those ghost workers steal from you.
But there is a simple judgement for you... A full and lasting end when you breakthrough. Continous happiness without guilt.
Then ofcourse, you must have tapped your internal esteem to affirm that you're human and a woman.
C. Promise Emmanuel
It is painful that your life is actually dormant. You post pictures of your private embodiments online and physically, you convince your low self esteem that your internal deficit can be nutrient via exorbitant materialistic appearance. Even when you truly know that you live a faux life, you convince yourself with the shambolic and fading momentary gains that follows your lack of respect for yourself.
You make a photo collage of pictures hueing hotel rooms, shopping centres, different estates, political and highbrow social gathering in order to convince your low-self-esteem that you're actually better than those who aren't traders in your trade. Infact, for everyday you go out, you make a picture of your wears to intimidate your mirror self and encourage your low self esteem. You award yourself a title of "big girl" to cover your chronic lowself esteem and poverty mentality. Yes, poverty mentality I said, you know why? Life is not easy, only those who fight genuinely overcome that poverty, you who took the easier way by exploiting your natural commodity do it because of poverty mentality, because there was never a struggle, only a jungle of immorality and "sexual rascality". How can you even feel special? Why? You're a ghost worker in the field of life, you use your easier way to milk from the hard work of married women, genuine hard working ladies, sisters and brothers of those you sell your wares to. You're a sexual and social thief. A home breaker. An economic saboteur. A low life and the lowest slide in the cadre of feminine virtuousness, NO! I meant virusness, because you share that one too from one man to another. How can you call yourself a big girl for affording the expensive things of life by trading your punany? Why should you feel special when you have commercialise that space to escape your lowself esteem?
...and then, constantly, you ply highways every weekend to different towns looking for buyers. You constantly put your life at risk and the happiness of your parents at risk. Those poor parents, praying that you will make a fine woman but you make yourself a fine harlot. You create a following by making the vulnerable ones feel you're a big girl, they want to be big girls too, so they want to be like you. As you understand their vulnerability, you recruit them to join you in order to boost your low-self- confidence. ..and you make low other persons. You're weak, internally empty, internally poor even though outwardly expensive. Even those men you ride on their donis price you as a commodity. Infact, you're a potential ritual animal to increase their fortunes. This same you, who have pillaged the moral valley would dare want your spoils of war to be: Good marriage, wealth, God-fearing boyfriend and husband who won't cheat on you, many children after marriage, family love and even to be the President's wife. You're a selfish being, carlous at its best because you would have deprived others who have worked for it genuinely, scheming your way as usual to be there. But there's a simple judgement for you. . An empty end awaits you. You're a ghost worker of success.
Here are the true feminine heroes:
The OK goods sellers, the true Make-up artists, the educated feminists, the female bloggers, teachers and hawkers. The female bankers, lecturers, Judges and the virtuous illiterate women out there.
You're all my heroes, you have a class.
You're the real workers while those ghost workers steal from you.
But there is a simple judgement for you... A full and lasting end when you breakthrough. Continous happiness without guilt.
Then ofcourse, you must have tapped your internal esteem to affirm that you're human and a woman.
C. Promise Emmanuel
Life Lessons Every PAAU Student Should Know Before Graduating
As a student you probably would not believe us if we
tell you that are absolutely naive and no, you are not
on top of the world.
You will soon graduate from the university, service
year is going to be awesome (at least according to the
stories you’ve heard).
After service, you are going to get a job, have a family,
build a home, become a millionaire and live happily
ever after.
There is just one problem with your plan. The only
problem with your plan is the real world.
This article is to lets students know things to look out
for before they graduate so they don’t get railroaded.
1. A Degree Does Not Entitle You To A Job
We all know getting a degree means a lot of hard work
and commitment but because you have a degree does
not mean somebody is going to grant you an
automatic job offer.
Gone are the days when all you needed to get a good
job was a university degree.
We were all told the same lies in secondary school, get
a university degree and a mouth watering job would
fall on your lap.
The smart people are the ones who figured out this lie
early in school and made sure the time they spent in
school would separate from other students who were
busy enjoying school life to the fullest.
It’s time to get your head out of the sand.
2. Start The Job Search Before You Graduate
Job hunting is a complicated thing and there is no
almighty formula for you to acquire a job. Job seeking
is not something you can “cram” for and pour out
everything during an exam. There are no cheat notes
for post-graduation experience.
The job hunting business is an on-the-training
experience and the best way to get ahead of your
colleagues is to start your career exploration during
your service year or better yet during your university
days.
You can research branches of your field, do
internships (industrial trainings), find out what size of
company is for you, and practice job searching
techniques.
Put these tips in play and by the time you’re done with
service, you’ll be prepared for the next phase of your
life and it will be quite tricky for reality to hit you with
tons of bricks.
3. Facebook Is Forever
Not just facebook, but twitter, instagram, and every
other social network that you decide to be a part of.
What does this mean to an average student? Well it
means that every obscure joke you post on Facebook,
every explicit picture you share, every inappropriate
comment will be visible to the world when you become
famous or when you go job hunting.
At the very least, know how to manipulate your social
media privacy settings and restrain yourself from
littering your social media accounts with unfitting
content.
Being appropriate on the web is just as important for
a political career as it is for finding employment. Your
binge drinking photos might be funny now but they
won’t be so hilarious in five years time.
4. Life Is Expensive
You are probably surviving on the allowance you
receive from your parents right now and you’ve
realized that life can be expensive, EXPENSIVE.
Just wait until you have to live on your own, probably
during service year or when you get your first job.
By the time you pay for house rents, transportation
fare, recharge cards, light bills, water bills, food,
utilities, and every miscellaneous expense. It won’t
take long before you realize that life is expensive.
Everything would suddenly become so expensive that
you would sometimes feel like crying.
This is one of the most painful things to learn.
EVERYTHING costs money.
Anytime from now, you should learn how to create a
budget for yourself. Otherwise your rent will be due,
your kitchen will be empty and you will be busy
dodging from the people you owe money.
5. Never Be Scared To Take Chances
This is probably the most important lesson you have
to learn before you graduate, never be scared to take
chances. You’ll never get anywhere you want if you
don’t take calculated risks every now and then.
No one is telling you to jump out of a plane or go
swimming with crocodiles (which would be awesome if
you survive), but nothing in life comes easy. Yes, it is
cliché, but it the hard truth. After all, nothing can
deputise experience.
When you become a graduate, the best option is not
becoming a boring office robot whose life revolves
around work.
Your twenties and thirties are the some of the best
years of your life, we kid you not.
Do not be afraid to face the real world with open
arms, explore opportunities, and take chances. You’ll
be surprised at what fate has in stock for you.
6. Learn How To Interact With People
Learning how to interact is a very valuable skill you
need to have in your belt. It is a “street smart” skill.
You could read a million books on how to interact with
people but the only way to develop your interaction
skill is to put it into practice constantly until it becomes
a part of you.
This skill will surely be tested each time you go for a
job interview. Heck! You even need this job more if
you are an entrepreneur.
Learn to greet people with a smile. Say “thank you,
please and I appreciate” whenever the situation
deems necessary. These small gestures go a long way
to make a huge difference. Don’t be so quick to
dismiss the power of appreciation and courtesy.
Make small talk, get to know anyone you have to spend
more than thirty minutes with, help them if you can.
Who knows? You might meet your own saviour.
Don’t know what to talk about? You could talk about
the TV shows you watch, the cool blogs you visit on the
net (don’t forget to mention giftedgreen.com), the
weather – hint hint : ).
Learn to be always positive, make sure people smile
after talking to you.
7. A Skill Will Get You Farther Than A
Certificate
What we recommend is that you pick up as many skills
as possible, as long as you have a passion for it. Do
not say “I am studying English Language, why do I
need to learn HTML?” If you are computer major, take
a couple of management trainings. It will help you in
the long run.
The skills you acquire do not necessarily have to be
educational; you could learn tailoring, baking,
programming, carpentry . . . anything. You never know
when your minor skill will become your added
advantage, or your primary source of income.
Not only that, you will be able to converse with a larger
variety of different people, plus it shows your
employer that you are a fast and versatile learner.
8. Save Something – Anything
Start saving now and you’ll be setting the foundation
of your financial future.
There is always a need to save, even if it is the tiniest
bit each month. Like we said earlier, life is expensive
and the best way to be prepared is for you start saving
right now.
Whether it’s for a big purchase, an emergency or for
your future it’s important to have a little money for fall
back to during rainy days. Trust us, those days will
come.
9. You Are Going To Need Lots Of Hardwork
You are now a graduate, you no longer need to read
through the night, attend boring lectures and write
difficult examinations. Your life should be an easy pie
from here. Right? Wrong.
In fact, this is the time that you need to work harder
than you imagined, if you want to be successful.
Although you could relax; get a federal government
appointment, and retire on your pension. This is
perfect, if you want to be mediocre.
We are you are among those that want to be
successful. In order to do that, you are going to need a
lot of brain work, stay up late at nights and lots of
reading if you are going to be among the 1%.
Even if your father is a billionaire, it’s a lot of hard work
maintaining all that money.
10.Success Takes Time
After applying all these, do not expect to become a
millionaire overnight, or in a week or in a month.
Success takes time.
No matter the amount of hard work, Success takes
time.
If you are in a hurry to be successful, you will either
fall prey to money swindlers or get yourself entangled
in something highly illegal. Neither of them sounds
tell you that are absolutely naive and no, you are not
on top of the world.
You will soon graduate from the university, service
year is going to be awesome (at least according to the
stories you’ve heard).
After service, you are going to get a job, have a family,
build a home, become a millionaire and live happily
ever after.
There is just one problem with your plan. The only
problem with your plan is the real world.
This article is to lets students know things to look out
for before they graduate so they don’t get railroaded.
1. A Degree Does Not Entitle You To A Job
We all know getting a degree means a lot of hard work
and commitment but because you have a degree does
not mean somebody is going to grant you an
automatic job offer.
Gone are the days when all you needed to get a good
job was a university degree.
We were all told the same lies in secondary school, get
a university degree and a mouth watering job would
fall on your lap.
The smart people are the ones who figured out this lie
early in school and made sure the time they spent in
school would separate from other students who were
busy enjoying school life to the fullest.
It’s time to get your head out of the sand.
2. Start The Job Search Before You Graduate
Job hunting is a complicated thing and there is no
almighty formula for you to acquire a job. Job seeking
is not something you can “cram” for and pour out
everything during an exam. There are no cheat notes
for post-graduation experience.
The job hunting business is an on-the-training
experience and the best way to get ahead of your
colleagues is to start your career exploration during
your service year or better yet during your university
days.
You can research branches of your field, do
internships (industrial trainings), find out what size of
company is for you, and practice job searching
techniques.
Put these tips in play and by the time you’re done with
service, you’ll be prepared for the next phase of your
life and it will be quite tricky for reality to hit you with
tons of bricks.
3. Facebook Is Forever
Not just facebook, but twitter, instagram, and every
other social network that you decide to be a part of.
What does this mean to an average student? Well it
means that every obscure joke you post on Facebook,
every explicit picture you share, every inappropriate
comment will be visible to the world when you become
famous or when you go job hunting.
At the very least, know how to manipulate your social
media privacy settings and restrain yourself from
littering your social media accounts with unfitting
content.
Being appropriate on the web is just as important for
a political career as it is for finding employment. Your
binge drinking photos might be funny now but they
won’t be so hilarious in five years time.
4. Life Is Expensive
You are probably surviving on the allowance you
receive from your parents right now and you’ve
realized that life can be expensive, EXPENSIVE.
Just wait until you have to live on your own, probably
during service year or when you get your first job.
By the time you pay for house rents, transportation
fare, recharge cards, light bills, water bills, food,
utilities, and every miscellaneous expense. It won’t
take long before you realize that life is expensive.
Everything would suddenly become so expensive that
you would sometimes feel like crying.
This is one of the most painful things to learn.
EVERYTHING costs money.
Anytime from now, you should learn how to create a
budget for yourself. Otherwise your rent will be due,
your kitchen will be empty and you will be busy
dodging from the people you owe money.
5. Never Be Scared To Take Chances
This is probably the most important lesson you have
to learn before you graduate, never be scared to take
chances. You’ll never get anywhere you want if you
don’t take calculated risks every now and then.
No one is telling you to jump out of a plane or go
swimming with crocodiles (which would be awesome if
you survive), but nothing in life comes easy. Yes, it is
cliché, but it the hard truth. After all, nothing can
deputise experience.
When you become a graduate, the best option is not
becoming a boring office robot whose life revolves
around work.
Your twenties and thirties are the some of the best
years of your life, we kid you not.
Do not be afraid to face the real world with open
arms, explore opportunities, and take chances. You’ll
be surprised at what fate has in stock for you.
6. Learn How To Interact With People
Learning how to interact is a very valuable skill you
need to have in your belt. It is a “street smart” skill.
You could read a million books on how to interact with
people but the only way to develop your interaction
skill is to put it into practice constantly until it becomes
a part of you.
This skill will surely be tested each time you go for a
job interview. Heck! You even need this job more if
you are an entrepreneur.
Learn to greet people with a smile. Say “thank you,
please and I appreciate” whenever the situation
deems necessary. These small gestures go a long way
to make a huge difference. Don’t be so quick to
dismiss the power of appreciation and courtesy.
Make small talk, get to know anyone you have to spend
more than thirty minutes with, help them if you can.
Who knows? You might meet your own saviour.
Don’t know what to talk about? You could talk about
the TV shows you watch, the cool blogs you visit on the
net (don’t forget to mention giftedgreen.com), the
weather – hint hint : ).
Learn to be always positive, make sure people smile
after talking to you.
7. A Skill Will Get You Farther Than A
Certificate
What we recommend is that you pick up as many skills
as possible, as long as you have a passion for it. Do
not say “I am studying English Language, why do I
need to learn HTML?” If you are computer major, take
a couple of management trainings. It will help you in
the long run.
The skills you acquire do not necessarily have to be
educational; you could learn tailoring, baking,
programming, carpentry . . . anything. You never know
when your minor skill will become your added
advantage, or your primary source of income.
Not only that, you will be able to converse with a larger
variety of different people, plus it shows your
employer that you are a fast and versatile learner.
8. Save Something – Anything
Start saving now and you’ll be setting the foundation
of your financial future.
There is always a need to save, even if it is the tiniest
bit each month. Like we said earlier, life is expensive
and the best way to be prepared is for you start saving
right now.
Whether it’s for a big purchase, an emergency or for
your future it’s important to have a little money for fall
back to during rainy days. Trust us, those days will
come.
9. You Are Going To Need Lots Of Hardwork
You are now a graduate, you no longer need to read
through the night, attend boring lectures and write
difficult examinations. Your life should be an easy pie
from here. Right? Wrong.
In fact, this is the time that you need to work harder
than you imagined, if you want to be successful.
Although you could relax; get a federal government
appointment, and retire on your pension. This is
perfect, if you want to be mediocre.
We are you are among those that want to be
successful. In order to do that, you are going to need a
lot of brain work, stay up late at nights and lots of
reading if you are going to be among the 1%.
Even if your father is a billionaire, it’s a lot of hard work
maintaining all that money.
10.Success Takes Time
After applying all these, do not expect to become a
millionaire overnight, or in a week or in a month.
Success takes time.
No matter the amount of hard work, Success takes
time.
If you are in a hurry to be successful, you will either
fall prey to money swindlers or get yourself entangled
in something highly illegal. Neither of them sounds
Ways To Manage Your Finances As A PAAU Student (A MUST READ)
Most times, it is not that the money we are given is not
enough but lack of financial management poses the
greatest challenge, here is an outline of 5 major ways
to manage your finance as a PAAU student.
1. Have a Monthly
Budget
This is very important in
managing your finances. If
you set yourself an
allocated amount to spend
each month, then you will
be able to track how much
you are spending per year.
This will help you to plan
how much money you need
to live and will enable you
to find out if you can keep
to this monthly budget. The
best part is that if you
under spend per month than your fixed budget allows
you to, then you will be saving money for you to use
elsewhere!
2. Keep Emergency money
Having Emergency money is a highly rated tip which
we recommend. It’s always good to have emergency
cash which is not part of your budget. This way, if you
ever have any issues or emergency situations, then
you have that allocated amount to help you through
your situation. On the other hand, you would be
saving this allocated amount if you don’t spend it!
3. Have a Student Bank Account
Student bank accounts are a great way of managing
your student finances. Your overdraft is there to help
you manage how much extra money you may need in
an emergency situation. The actual account is great to
see how much you are spending as you can go into
your bank to get a statement of how much you have
spent. From this statement, you can see if you are
spending too much money.
4. Write Down Your Costs
Writing down your costs is a great way of tracking your
finances. Simply writing down how much you have
spent will enable you to work out if you are spending
too much money.
5. Review Your Bank Statements
Reviewing your bank statements every week will
enable you to work out how much you are spending
per month. This then allows you to decide on whether
you want to increase your spending or whether you
want to decrease your spending. Either way, this will
help you manage your finances properly.
enough but lack of financial management poses the
greatest challenge, here is an outline of 5 major ways
to manage your finance as a PAAU student.
1. Have a Monthly
Budget
This is very important in
managing your finances. If
you set yourself an
allocated amount to spend
each month, then you will
be able to track how much
you are spending per year.
This will help you to plan
how much money you need
to live and will enable you
to find out if you can keep
to this monthly budget. The
best part is that if you
under spend per month than your fixed budget allows
you to, then you will be saving money for you to use
elsewhere!
2. Keep Emergency money
Having Emergency money is a highly rated tip which
we recommend. It’s always good to have emergency
cash which is not part of your budget. This way, if you
ever have any issues or emergency situations, then
you have that allocated amount to help you through
your situation. On the other hand, you would be
saving this allocated amount if you don’t spend it!
3. Have a Student Bank Account
Student bank accounts are a great way of managing
your student finances. Your overdraft is there to help
you manage how much extra money you may need in
an emergency situation. The actual account is great to
see how much you are spending as you can go into
your bank to get a statement of how much you have
spent. From this statement, you can see if you are
spending too much money.
4. Write Down Your Costs
Writing down your costs is a great way of tracking your
finances. Simply writing down how much you have
spent will enable you to work out if you are spending
too much money.
5. Review Your Bank Statements
Reviewing your bank statements every week will
enable you to work out how much you are spending
per month. This then allows you to decide on whether
you want to increase your spending or whether you
want to decrease your spending. Either way, this will
help you manage your finances properly.
Saturday, June 11, 2016
HOW TO COPE WITH ACADEMIC STRESS AS AN UNDERGRADUATE
College, obviously requires significantly more effort
from students than high school. Once you enter
college, you will probably find that your fellow
students are more motivated, your instructors are
more demanding, the work is more difficult, and you
are expected to be more independent. These higher
academic standards and expectations are even more
evident in graduate school. As a result of these new
demands, it is common for college students to
experience greater levels of stress related to
academics.
Many students find that they need to develop new
skills in order to balance academic demands with a
healthy lifestyle. Fortunately, the University of
Michigan offers many resources to help students
develop these skills. Many students find that they can
reduce their level of academic stress by improving
skills such as time management, stress management,
and relaxation.
Whether it’s your parents pushing you to boost your
GPA, teachers criticizing you for a less-than-stellar test
scores, or your own drive to get in to your first-choice
college — or some combination of the three —
academic pressure can get the best of you if you don’t
learn how to deal with it properly.
The Pros and Cons of Stress
Stress is anything that alters your natural balance.
When stress is present, your body and your mind must
attend to it in order to return you to balance. Your
body reacts to stress by releasing hormones that help
you cope with the situation. That in turn takes energy
away from the other functions of your brain, like
concentrating, or taking action. There are two
different sources of stress: external triggers, like
getting a poor grade or breaking up with your
girlfriend/boyfriend, and internal triggers, like placing
high expectations on yourself. We are stressed from
academics while trying to meet up with academic
demands, our parents/guardians, multiple
assignments, and exams. Stress is bad for our health
and brains, this why we have less productivity when
we are stressed.
Hence, we did be sharing few tips with you on “HOW
TO PREVENT STRESS, AN INTERVIEW WITH
A psychotherapist who has helped countless teens
cope with school stresses, about her best tips for
managing academic anxiety. Scroll down for five
helpful ways to get through your high school years
with less stress.
1. Take time for self-care.
He emphasizes that you have to start with the basics,
like sleep. “You have to give your organism the means
to cope with stress, and that includes healthy food,
non-harmful substances, sleep (dramatically more
than most kids think they need), down time… Building
into your day right-brain activity that lets you digest
what you’ve been going through and process it. Those
are some basic and almost biological needs we have.”
Taking time to pause from the relentless pace of
everyday life and enjoy creative activities that keep you
from dwelling on or stressing over school pressures
can go far in decreasing your stress levels.
2. Learn to change your thinking.
“You cannot get stressed out unless you believe your
thoughts,” says Stiffelman. “All stress is precipitated by
stressful thinking.”
When you start stressing about not finishing your
project on time, your mind builds a case for why what
you believe is going to happen will happen — and this
can be paralyzing. So, when combating negative
thinking patterns, he recommends coming up with
specific examples to counter the stressful thoughts.
Think instead of concrete ways that you can create the
time to work on a project, and how your previous line
of thinking isn’t accurate.
3. Take assignments one baby step at a time.
He however, advises her young clients to chunk their
work down into manageable, bite-sized portions that
feel less overwhelming than looking at the big picture.
If you have an essay to write that’s making you feel
anxious, list the individual steps that lead to the
destination of the essay being finished (finding
sources, creating an outline, writing an intro), and the
task will begin to feel less daunting.
“List what you have going on, and list how much time
each thing is going to take,” she suggests. “Chunking
things down makes them feel more manageable and
less anxiety-inducing.”
4. Lower your goals.
No, we’re not talking about being a slacker. According
to Stiffelman, following the truism “Lower your goals,
you’ll achieve more,” can help to relieve
stress and boost academic success.
Instead of setting your goal to be getting the highest
grade in the class, set a goal to feel satisfied with your
performance.
5. Stay balanced during exam periods.
The importance of taking breaks and working in time
to relax during your busiest and most stressful
periods can’t be overestimated, Stiffelman urges. Not
matter how hard you push yourself, nobody can
maintain constant focus, and you will burn yourself
out if you try. Take frequent, short breaks for fun
activities so that you’ll be able to go back to your
writing or studying refreshed.
“Do something that, even for 15 minutes, brings you
back to yourself,” says Stiffelman. “I’ll often say, ‘What
did you love to do when you were six years old?’ Do a
little bit of that when you’re in prep mode to
counterbalance the stress — no brain can work for 24
hours.”
Tell us: How do you cope with pressure at school? Do
you think schools have a responsibility to help their
students manage stress?
Source:
from students than high school. Once you enter
college, you will probably find that your fellow
students are more motivated, your instructors are
more demanding, the work is more difficult, and you
are expected to be more independent. These higher
academic standards and expectations are even more
evident in graduate school. As a result of these new
demands, it is common for college students to
experience greater levels of stress related to
academics.
Many students find that they need to develop new
skills in order to balance academic demands with a
healthy lifestyle. Fortunately, the University of
Michigan offers many resources to help students
develop these skills. Many students find that they can
reduce their level of academic stress by improving
skills such as time management, stress management,
and relaxation.
Whether it’s your parents pushing you to boost your
GPA, teachers criticizing you for a less-than-stellar test
scores, or your own drive to get in to your first-choice
college — or some combination of the three —
academic pressure can get the best of you if you don’t
learn how to deal with it properly.
The Pros and Cons of Stress
Stress is anything that alters your natural balance.
When stress is present, your body and your mind must
attend to it in order to return you to balance. Your
body reacts to stress by releasing hormones that help
you cope with the situation. That in turn takes energy
away from the other functions of your brain, like
concentrating, or taking action. There are two
different sources of stress: external triggers, like
getting a poor grade or breaking up with your
girlfriend/boyfriend, and internal triggers, like placing
high expectations on yourself. We are stressed from
academics while trying to meet up with academic
demands, our parents/guardians, multiple
assignments, and exams. Stress is bad for our health
and brains, this why we have less productivity when
we are stressed.
Hence, we did be sharing few tips with you on “HOW
TO PREVENT STRESS, AN INTERVIEW WITH
A psychotherapist who has helped countless teens
cope with school stresses, about her best tips for
managing academic anxiety. Scroll down for five
helpful ways to get through your high school years
with less stress.
1. Take time for self-care.
He emphasizes that you have to start with the basics,
like sleep. “You have to give your organism the means
to cope with stress, and that includes healthy food,
non-harmful substances, sleep (dramatically more
than most kids think they need), down time… Building
into your day right-brain activity that lets you digest
what you’ve been going through and process it. Those
are some basic and almost biological needs we have.”
Taking time to pause from the relentless pace of
everyday life and enjoy creative activities that keep you
from dwelling on or stressing over school pressures
can go far in decreasing your stress levels.
2. Learn to change your thinking.
“You cannot get stressed out unless you believe your
thoughts,” says Stiffelman. “All stress is precipitated by
stressful thinking.”
When you start stressing about not finishing your
project on time, your mind builds a case for why what
you believe is going to happen will happen — and this
can be paralyzing. So, when combating negative
thinking patterns, he recommends coming up with
specific examples to counter the stressful thoughts.
Think instead of concrete ways that you can create the
time to work on a project, and how your previous line
of thinking isn’t accurate.
3. Take assignments one baby step at a time.
He however, advises her young clients to chunk their
work down into manageable, bite-sized portions that
feel less overwhelming than looking at the big picture.
If you have an essay to write that’s making you feel
anxious, list the individual steps that lead to the
destination of the essay being finished (finding
sources, creating an outline, writing an intro), and the
task will begin to feel less daunting.
“List what you have going on, and list how much time
each thing is going to take,” she suggests. “Chunking
things down makes them feel more manageable and
less anxiety-inducing.”
4. Lower your goals.
No, we’re not talking about being a slacker. According
to Stiffelman, following the truism “Lower your goals,
you’ll achieve more,” can help to relieve
stress and boost academic success.
Instead of setting your goal to be getting the highest
grade in the class, set a goal to feel satisfied with your
performance.
5. Stay balanced during exam periods.
The importance of taking breaks and working in time
to relax during your busiest and most stressful
periods can’t be overestimated, Stiffelman urges. Not
matter how hard you push yourself, nobody can
maintain constant focus, and you will burn yourself
out if you try. Take frequent, short breaks for fun
activities so that you’ll be able to go back to your
writing or studying refreshed.
“Do something that, even for 15 minutes, brings you
back to yourself,” says Stiffelman. “I’ll often say, ‘What
did you love to do when you were six years old?’ Do a
little bit of that when you’re in prep mode to
counterbalance the stress — no brain can work for 24
hours.”
Tell us: How do you cope with pressure at school? Do
you think schools have a responsibility to help their
students manage stress?
Source:
How to overcome inferiority complex
We all fall in the trap of comparison wherein we
inevitably compare ourselves with others. This
comparison does more harm to us than good. This
does not mean we stop looking up to others. But there
is a difference between learning from others and
simply comparing yourself with them and then feeling,
‘Oh! Wish I was like her!’
This comparison is the main cause of inferiority
complex. We compare ourselves with our neighbors,
colleagues, batch mates, celebrities, siblings and with
strangers too!
It happened with me several times that often while
traveling I spotted fashionable women around. I
looked at their dresses, their style and matching
accessories and then glanced at my attire which was
usually a comfy, simple dress. In the name of
accessories, I generally wore a wrist watch and my
make up comprised of a light color lipstick. That’s all.
So each time I came across a hip girl on street, I was
ready to sulk and to term myself a ‘dodo’. But this was
long ago.
Over time, with some self conscious efforts and with
company of some wise, supportive friends, I have
overcome my inferiority complex of not being able to
dress up in style. Also I realized that beauty lies in
simplicity. In the process, I have learnt several lessons
and am ready to share them here.
Determine your specific inferiority
It is better to be specific than generally feeling low.
Narrow it down to a specific type first. Do you feel
inferior to rich people, educated people, good looking
people, famous people? First find out your category of
inferiority. I had the weird complex with people who
had a trendy, contemporary dressing style!
Once you are done with finding your category, lean it
further with names. List down the names of people. I
felt inferior with particularly two friends of mine. So
come up with the names. Once you have the names,
you need to know why you feel inferior to them. Do
they make you feel low? If yes, dump them right now
and move on. If no, then ask yourself ‘who says I am
not as good as that Xyz’? You have the answer and that
is the solution.
Your Thinking Matters
Eleanor Roosevelt said, ‘no one can make you feel
inferior without your permission’ and she said it so
right. It is us who feel inferior and if we change our
thinking, every thing about us changes.
There is a difference in being inferior and feeling
inferior. Being inferior is simply a game of relativity.
But not everyone feels inferior.
If we lay more emphasis on what others think about
us, we attract more problems in life. This is our life
and only our opinion should matter. Finding faults in
ourselves based on whether others find us good
enough or not is not going to help anybody. It
becomes dangerous when we may actually be better
than others but somehow feel worse than them.
Chuck that habit of taking others’ judgements about
you seriously and then feeling low.
Love Thyself
The one thumb rule for a happy life is learning to love
oneself. I am totally in love myself so much so that
many of my friends call me a narcissist. No doubt,
earlier I was not too confident of my dressing sense
but slowly, I overcame that guilt as well. And now, I
love myself just the way I am.
We would never even find the need of comparing
ourselves with others if we are satisfied with our ‘self’.
Loving oneself is the first step to achieve confidence
and that sets the path for high self esteem.
Stop wanting to be some one else. Just be yourself
and create your own identity. Someone probably
sometime told you that you were not good enough
and you have been carrying that luggage even today!
Drop it right now. I threw it off and I am much lighter
and better and happier.
Seek Positive Company
It is very important to be in company of people who
are very positive in nature. If you are surrounded by
people who spend half of their time in analyzing
others and judging them, probably you would get
influenced too.
Be with people who like others the way they are. Seek
positive company. In a good company and with people
who gladly accept you as you are, you would grow up
to be more confident of yourselves.
Finally, again, your confidence should not depend on
others. It should exude from within.
In the end, I would like to quote the following lines:
Do what thy manhood bids thee do, from none but
self expect applause;
He noblest lives and noblest dies who makes and
keeps his self-made laws.
inevitably compare ourselves with others. This
comparison does more harm to us than good. This
does not mean we stop looking up to others. But there
is a difference between learning from others and
simply comparing yourself with them and then feeling,
‘Oh! Wish I was like her!’
This comparison is the main cause of inferiority
complex. We compare ourselves with our neighbors,
colleagues, batch mates, celebrities, siblings and with
strangers too!
It happened with me several times that often while
traveling I spotted fashionable women around. I
looked at their dresses, their style and matching
accessories and then glanced at my attire which was
usually a comfy, simple dress. In the name of
accessories, I generally wore a wrist watch and my
make up comprised of a light color lipstick. That’s all.
So each time I came across a hip girl on street, I was
ready to sulk and to term myself a ‘dodo’. But this was
long ago.
Over time, with some self conscious efforts and with
company of some wise, supportive friends, I have
overcome my inferiority complex of not being able to
dress up in style. Also I realized that beauty lies in
simplicity. In the process, I have learnt several lessons
and am ready to share them here.
Determine your specific inferiority
It is better to be specific than generally feeling low.
Narrow it down to a specific type first. Do you feel
inferior to rich people, educated people, good looking
people, famous people? First find out your category of
inferiority. I had the weird complex with people who
had a trendy, contemporary dressing style!
Once you are done with finding your category, lean it
further with names. List down the names of people. I
felt inferior with particularly two friends of mine. So
come up with the names. Once you have the names,
you need to know why you feel inferior to them. Do
they make you feel low? If yes, dump them right now
and move on. If no, then ask yourself ‘who says I am
not as good as that Xyz’? You have the answer and that
is the solution.
Your Thinking Matters
Eleanor Roosevelt said, ‘no one can make you feel
inferior without your permission’ and she said it so
right. It is us who feel inferior and if we change our
thinking, every thing about us changes.
There is a difference in being inferior and feeling
inferior. Being inferior is simply a game of relativity.
But not everyone feels inferior.
If we lay more emphasis on what others think about
us, we attract more problems in life. This is our life
and only our opinion should matter. Finding faults in
ourselves based on whether others find us good
enough or not is not going to help anybody. It
becomes dangerous when we may actually be better
than others but somehow feel worse than them.
Chuck that habit of taking others’ judgements about
you seriously and then feeling low.
Love Thyself
The one thumb rule for a happy life is learning to love
oneself. I am totally in love myself so much so that
many of my friends call me a narcissist. No doubt,
earlier I was not too confident of my dressing sense
but slowly, I overcame that guilt as well. And now, I
love myself just the way I am.
We would never even find the need of comparing
ourselves with others if we are satisfied with our ‘self’.
Loving oneself is the first step to achieve confidence
and that sets the path for high self esteem.
Stop wanting to be some one else. Just be yourself
and create your own identity. Someone probably
sometime told you that you were not good enough
and you have been carrying that luggage even today!
Drop it right now. I threw it off and I am much lighter
and better and happier.
Seek Positive Company
It is very important to be in company of people who
are very positive in nature. If you are surrounded by
people who spend half of their time in analyzing
others and judging them, probably you would get
influenced too.
Be with people who like others the way they are. Seek
positive company. In a good company and with people
who gladly accept you as you are, you would grow up
to be more confident of yourselves.
Finally, again, your confidence should not depend on
others. It should exude from within.
In the end, I would like to quote the following lines:
Do what thy manhood bids thee do, from none but
self expect applause;
He noblest lives and noblest dies who makes and
keeps his self-made laws.
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