You’re going to die someday.
Perhaps the 5 most powerful words ever spoken to
me. No matter how immortal we feel waltzing through
life’s ups and downs, we all must someday stare death
in its devious eyes as we reflect on our lives. Life is
complex, sure. That’s a given. But if you really ponder
for a moment, it can be boiled down to 2 feelings you’ll
most likely be met with on your deathbed:
Triumph or regret.
Thankfully, every day is a
great day to get better.
Every day is a perfect day
to change the track of your
life, to reroute the
potentially destructive
path of a life wasted.
What better place to start
than people in their final
days:
1. I wish I wouldn’t have compared myself to
others.
Everyone struggles with this, but there’s nearly
nothing that’s so detrimental to fulfillment. Instead of
comparing yourself to your friends, family, or idols,
reflect on how far you’ve come as a person, even if it’s
just the person you were yesterday.
2. I wish I’d taken action and dove in head first.
I’ll let you in on a little secret: there is no “right way.”
So many people are paralyzed by the idea of what they
want to be because they worry it won’t happen as
quickly as they want. Well, it won’t. But what’s worse
than dedicating time to your dream each day and
seeing snail-like progress? A life wasted doing things
you don’t want to.
3. I wish I’d tuned the world out more.
Everyone around you tries to dictate what you are or
who you should be, but you let them. No one needs to
validate your worth besides yourself, and you will
someday deeply regret if you spend your life pleasing
the world around you. Don’t worry about pleasing
your parents, friends, or bosses. You need to worry
about number 1 first and foremost. Always.
4. I wish I didn’t wait to “start it tomorrow.”
Excuses are plentiful because they’re so easy to make.
You will always find reasons to validate your inaction,
and this is a common cause of deathbed regret. The
things you want to do tomorrow can effortlessly turn
into things you wish you did 50 years ago.
5. I wish I’d taken more chances.
The fear of rejection or failure dissipates in the face of
death. The pretty girl you didn’t ask out on a date, the
job you didn’t apply for because you felt under
qualified, or the business you believed in but didn’t
start will weigh heavier on your shoulders than falling
flat on your face and learning.
6. I wish I would have kept going.
Even if you are brave enough to take the chance,
failure happens. Where this failure can turn into major
regret, however, is a decision to quit. When you let the
pressure of falling short overcome your love for your
endeavor, you lost. Keep going.
7. I wish I’d told others how much I love them.
Everyone wants to feel appreciated, but very few are
wiling to tell others how much they appreciate them.
So often we are wrapped up in gaining love but fail to
give it to the ones we care about most. Tell them
often, before it’s too late.
8. I wish I was content with what I have.
Be it more money, more recognition, or more options,
we always want more of something. Very few are able
to take an honest step back and recognize that what
they have is more than enough. It’s always good to
want more from life, but it’s essential to truly
appreciate what you have.
9. I wish I took better care of my body.
Today’s society tells us that “taking care of yourself” is
synonymous with a chiseled six pack. This is by no
means true. Making healthy choices is important in all
facets of life, not just physical exercise. Not eating
junk food, not smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, and
not drinking every weekend are 3 pretty easy ways to
start.
10. I wish I’d listened to others more.
Everyone thinks they’re right all the time and everyone
has opinions that they sometimes force on others. It’s
alright to have them, but it’s more important to have
the ability to listen. Even if you don’t agree with the
point of view, challenge yourself to hear others
without passing judgement.
11. I wish I’d have not held that grudge.
It’s discouraging when someone hurts you, especially
if that person means a lot to you. But harboring
grudges hurts you in the long term more than it did
initially.
12. I wish I’d have traveled more.
People often mistake that “traveling” has to involve a
foreign country and a couple thousand dollars.
Phooey. Jump in the car, drive an hour to a nearby
city, and explore something you haven’t before. Don’t
jail yourself in your house because of erroneous
notions of what it means to travel.
13. I wish I’d have laughed it off.
You take yourself far too seriously. Heck, we all do.
One of the major regrets people have in life is simply
taking life too seriously. Bad things are bound to
happen, sure. But they’re pretty much always not as
bad as we make them out to be in our head. And isn’t
life way more fun if we’re chuckling along with it?
14. I wish I’d left work at work (for only 40 hours
per week).
Humans are hard wired to work and provide for the
ones they love. However, this often comes at the
expense of our loved ones because we spend so much
stinking time wrapping things up at the office or
putting in a couple hours emailing on the weekends.
Here’s a newsflash: your job is going to still be there
and exist when you die, but it’ll be someone else in the
seat neglecting their family instead. Don’t let that
happen.
15. I wish I stayed in touch with friends.
It’s normal for people to fall out of touch, but often it’s
a result of a “they didn’t call me so they don’t miss me”
mentality. If you truly miss someone and are
wondering how they’re doing, chances are the other
party is feeling the same way. Be the first to call, write,
or visit. You’ll be glad you did.
16. I wish I was more aware of the real world
around me.
I don’t believe this is a huge concern for people
currently on their deathbeds, but for the millennial
generation this will be a huge regret. We’re constantly
plugged in everywhere we go. This encourages us to
unconsciously ignore the beauty that surrounds us
every day. Unplug and look up. You’ll be more satisfied
with what you find than whatever drama Shandra is
starting on Facebook.
17. I wish I had more confidence in myself.
Everyone is self conscious, especially those who
appear very cocky and sure of themselves. A big
mistake people make in life is not truly believing in
their own ability. It’s such a shame because it’s so
easy. Only you need to validate your worth.
18. I wish I trusted my intuition.
That little voice in the back of your head is there for a
reason. Sadly, for many of us that voice can be self
defeating and quite harsh about life. There are,
however, many other occasions where that voice is the
megaphone for the heart, telling you what you truly
desire and deeply want. Listen to it.
19. I wish I ran with a better crowd.
Choose to believe this or not, but you are a direct
result of the people you surround yourself with. If you
run with idiots, chances are high you will become one.
The beauty of life is that we have the conscious choice
on who we spend our time with and what we spend
our time doing. I can’t speak for you, but I seek people
who will always challenge, encourage, and push me
grow.
20. I wish I walked the walk.
Far too many people are good at vocalizing the life
they want, but are horrendous at putting a plan into
action to get there. It’s not enough to dream out loud,
or quietly in your head. You must absolutely need to
put yourself out there and leap into action.
We can all relate to the struggles and battles that life
brings, but that doesn’t mean we have to roll over and
take it. It’s tough, sure, but anything that’s worthwhile
is. It really comes down to a simple choice: struggle
for fulfillment now or wish you did in your final
moments alive.
Only you can decide.
Saturday, May 28, 2016
Friday, May 27, 2016
Ksu boy and gal palava : Categories Of Girlfriends In Ksu
This write-up focuses on the certain categories of
girlfriends that will always spell trouble and almost
never be the right prospects for a sane man
1. The Ones Who
Change Men Like
Bathroom Slipppers
While you are still wearing
a bathroom slippers, some
ladies must have changed
up to 3 boyfriends.. They
feel they are on top of the
game because so many
male suitors are chasing
them here and there. You
have to be tactical in
dealing with these ladies
else, they will dump you
without any reason
2. Eatery Lovers
The ones who love eateries as if their lives depend on
it. They are always available at the mention of eatery.
Even when they don’t have appetite, they will still point
to expensive foods which they cannot even eat. Many
at times, not even loss of appetite will stop them from
feeding as if there’s famine in d land
3. Girlfriend Who Tags You Stingy When You
Are Prudent In Spending
Some girlfriends expect you to do the needful at the
mention of money. When some ladies ask you for
money twice and you them excuses, you are
tagged “STINGY” The moment she realizes you are
prudent in spending, she keeps telling you indirectly or
tell her friends that you are a stingy dude
4. Gold Diggers
Even if you don’t have that much money, you may still
encounter girls that are interested in the last kobo you
have in your pocket. A tell tale sign of a gold digger is
the lack of a job. If some ladies have no motivation to
support themselves, then odds are that their goal is to
exercise their maga-rizm skill on you. Regardless of
your financial situation, you should run the other way
cos she’ll size you up within the first five minutes and
drop you just as quickly if your cash flow doesn’t meet
her standards.
5. Girlfriend Who Remembers You in Time Of
Need
The moment some so called girlfriends start flashing
you repeatedly, you can be sure she needs a favour
from you ** smh**
6. Girlfriend Who Weeps Over Anything
These are the categories of ladies who cry like babies
at any slight provocation. The break down in tears
when anything silly or bad happens.. She sees you
with another lady, she will cry; you shout at her, she
will cry; she lost her purse, she will cry. She will cry
more ridiculous tears as the relationship wears on.
Run from them !
7. Girlfriends Who Are Obsessed With
Marriage
Many ladies are infatuated with the idea of marriage.
They’ve planned out their lives to the finest silly details
and they see happiness as some sort that
they can create certain steps that they must have two
children by the time they’re 32 and they had better be
living in a cute house with a house maid who does
good impressions. Needless I say, If any lady
mentions making a family or getting married before
you’ve even gotten to know her, run away !.
8 The Chronic Cheaters
The chronic cheaters announce their history of
infidelity as if she takes pride in it. This type is easy to
detect and get away from quickly. They are more
cunning and they cheat without ever admitting to it
even when you confront them directly. In this case,
your only chance of finding out the truth is by asking
someone who knows her well and whom you think
you
can trust.
9 Secret Keepers
These one who are unnecessary secretive. However,
they hide everything, fb password, phone lock
password, inbox messages ( just name it). They start
feeling very uncomfortable when you are going
through their phones . Ask for their social network
password and they would threat to call the
relationship a quit because you don’t trust them
10 High Maintenance Chic
If she breaks a nail, she expects you to drop
everything you’re doing and start consoling her
immediately. She acts like a dummy maybe because
their dads always told her she was a princess and she
expects to be treated like one. Although she’s not
necessarily after your money like the Gold Digger, she
has expensive taste, and expects you to shower her
with nice things and take her out to posh places on a
regular basis.
girlfriends that will always spell trouble and almost
never be the right prospects for a sane man
1. The Ones Who
Change Men Like
Bathroom Slipppers
While you are still wearing
a bathroom slippers, some
ladies must have changed
up to 3 boyfriends.. They
feel they are on top of the
game because so many
male suitors are chasing
them here and there. You
have to be tactical in
dealing with these ladies
else, they will dump you
without any reason
2. Eatery Lovers
The ones who love eateries as if their lives depend on
it. They are always available at the mention of eatery.
Even when they don’t have appetite, they will still point
to expensive foods which they cannot even eat. Many
at times, not even loss of appetite will stop them from
feeding as if there’s famine in d land
3. Girlfriend Who Tags You Stingy When You
Are Prudent In Spending
Some girlfriends expect you to do the needful at the
mention of money. When some ladies ask you for
money twice and you them excuses, you are
tagged “STINGY” The moment she realizes you are
prudent in spending, she keeps telling you indirectly or
tell her friends that you are a stingy dude
4. Gold Diggers
Even if you don’t have that much money, you may still
encounter girls that are interested in the last kobo you
have in your pocket. A tell tale sign of a gold digger is
the lack of a job. If some ladies have no motivation to
support themselves, then odds are that their goal is to
exercise their maga-rizm skill on you. Regardless of
your financial situation, you should run the other way
cos she’ll size you up within the first five minutes and
drop you just as quickly if your cash flow doesn’t meet
her standards.
5. Girlfriend Who Remembers You in Time Of
Need
The moment some so called girlfriends start flashing
you repeatedly, you can be sure she needs a favour
from you ** smh**
6. Girlfriend Who Weeps Over Anything
These are the categories of ladies who cry like babies
at any slight provocation. The break down in tears
when anything silly or bad happens.. She sees you
with another lady, she will cry; you shout at her, she
will cry; she lost her purse, she will cry. She will cry
more ridiculous tears as the relationship wears on.
Run from them !
7. Girlfriends Who Are Obsessed With
Marriage
Many ladies are infatuated with the idea of marriage.
They’ve planned out their lives to the finest silly details
and they see happiness as some sort that
they can create certain steps that they must have two
children by the time they’re 32 and they had better be
living in a cute house with a house maid who does
good impressions. Needless I say, If any lady
mentions making a family or getting married before
you’ve even gotten to know her, run away !.
8 The Chronic Cheaters
The chronic cheaters announce their history of
infidelity as if she takes pride in it. This type is easy to
detect and get away from quickly. They are more
cunning and they cheat without ever admitting to it
even when you confront them directly. In this case,
your only chance of finding out the truth is by asking
someone who knows her well and whom you think
you
can trust.
9 Secret Keepers
These one who are unnecessary secretive. However,
they hide everything, fb password, phone lock
password, inbox messages ( just name it). They start
feeling very uncomfortable when you are going
through their phones . Ask for their social network
password and they would threat to call the
relationship a quit because you don’t trust them
10 High Maintenance Chic
If she breaks a nail, she expects you to drop
everything you’re doing and start consoling her
immediately. She acts like a dummy maybe because
their dads always told her she was a princess and she
expects to be treated like one. Although she’s not
necessarily after your money like the Gold Digger, she
has expensive taste, and expects you to shower her
with nice things and take her out to posh places on a
regular basis.
Thursday, May 26, 2016
YOU WILL NEVER THROW AWAYTHE BANANA PEEL AFTERREADING THIS
Bananas are the most popular tropical fruit worldwide.
This amazing yellow fruit contains three natural sugars:
sucrose, fructose and glucose, along with fiber.
Nutritionists explain that they give instant nourishing
amount of energy. One research has shown that only 2
bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90 -
minute operation. Well, after this fact, it is
understandable why the world’s leading athletes consider
banana as fruit nuber 1.
It is interesting fact that banana peel is no less important
than the fruit!
Below we present you a list of top 7 ways to use provided
and never throw a banana peel after eaten!
Analgesic: the banana peel is excellent analgesic. So, in
case if you feel pain in some place on the body, gently rub
a banana peel on the affected area and leave it to sit for
15 minutes. You can expect relief very soon.
Cleaning: Banana peel has amazing greasy, nutritious
moisturizing properties and because of that it is ideal for
cleaning the skin footwear, furniture, and silver jewelry.
Treatment of acne and wrinkles: You can use banana peel
for general skin care. Namely, it is amazingly efficient for
the reduction of wrinkles and blemishes from the face.
The peel contains antioxidants and anti – aging
properties, moisturizes and nourishes the skin and finally
promotes elasticity and suppleness.Simply rub the skin in
the facial skin, especially in the inflamed problem areas
and let sit for half an hour.
Treatment of psoriasis: Although the banana peel can not
cure this skin disease completely, it can reassure its
symptoms, such as itching and redness and speed up its
recovery. Just rub on the affected area and leave on for
10 minutes.
Removing warts from the skin: Those people who have
problem with constant appearance of warts on the skin,
can solve the problem with the help of a banana peel.
Namely, you can remove them and prevent their
recurrence. Just apply piece of banana peel over the
warts, attach bandages and leave it over night. You need
to repeat the process until the warts disappear.
Sedation insect bites: If you are bitten by some insect and
the itching is unbearable, instead to scratch the area, we
recommend you to try to calm it with rubbing it with
banana peel.
Teeth whitening: For amazingly white teeth use banana
peel. Every day in a period of 2 weeks you need to rub
your teeth with banana peel. The results will surprise you.
This amazing yellow fruit contains three natural sugars:
sucrose, fructose and glucose, along with fiber.
Nutritionists explain that they give instant nourishing
amount of energy. One research has shown that only 2
bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90 -
minute operation. Well, after this fact, it is
understandable why the world’s leading athletes consider
banana as fruit nuber 1.
It is interesting fact that banana peel is no less important
than the fruit!
Below we present you a list of top 7 ways to use provided
and never throw a banana peel after eaten!
Analgesic: the banana peel is excellent analgesic. So, in
case if you feel pain in some place on the body, gently rub
a banana peel on the affected area and leave it to sit for
15 minutes. You can expect relief very soon.
Cleaning: Banana peel has amazing greasy, nutritious
moisturizing properties and because of that it is ideal for
cleaning the skin footwear, furniture, and silver jewelry.
Treatment of acne and wrinkles: You can use banana peel
for general skin care. Namely, it is amazingly efficient for
the reduction of wrinkles and blemishes from the face.
The peel contains antioxidants and anti – aging
properties, moisturizes and nourishes the skin and finally
promotes elasticity and suppleness.Simply rub the skin in
the facial skin, especially in the inflamed problem areas
and let sit for half an hour.
Treatment of psoriasis: Although the banana peel can not
cure this skin disease completely, it can reassure its
symptoms, such as itching and redness and speed up its
recovery. Just rub on the affected area and leave on for
10 minutes.
Removing warts from the skin: Those people who have
problem with constant appearance of warts on the skin,
can solve the problem with the help of a banana peel.
Namely, you can remove them and prevent their
recurrence. Just apply piece of banana peel over the
warts, attach bandages and leave it over night. You need
to repeat the process until the warts disappear.
Sedation insect bites: If you are bitten by some insect and
the itching is unbearable, instead to scratch the area, we
recommend you to try to calm it with rubbing it with
banana peel.
Teeth whitening: For amazingly white teeth use banana
peel. Every day in a period of 2 weeks you need to rub
your teeth with banana peel. The results will surprise you.
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Sex and relationship : Saying "I love you too" meansnothing, here's why
Relationship writer, Tim Mousseau of The Good Men
Project explains why one of the most uttered phrases in
history, never defines a person's true feelings towards their
partners.
Here's what he wrote:
I made myself a promise a long time ago. Whenever I was in
relationships, whenever I found someone significant
enough that I felt comfortable saying "I love you", I would
not add the word "too."
My reasons for this are many but mostly because I do not
believe the word "too" has any room in relationships,
especially when concerning matters of love.
Look at the meaning of too, its root and principles. Too
means also. Furthermore. In addition. More so. Too is not a
separate clause, it is support for something already
existing. Too does not require one to make their own choice
or further their life by personal actions but instead is
throwing oneself in support of an existing thought.
There is nothing inspiring or original about too. Too is not
an action but a reaction. It follows another's ideas and saps
power from their concept. Too is the equivalent of saying
ditto. Why would we ever add "too" to "I love you" then?
I love you should be a statement of power. It is something
to say to another because it is meant from within the
depths of our heart. When we tell someone we love them, it
should be organic, brought about because we experience
these emotions on a visceral level.
Love is a manifestation of feelings we speak because we
have lost all other words to describe the intensity we feel in
a relationship. A good I love you, spoken at the right
moments, compresses all the intimacies of caring for
another into a few words that can be said to sum up the
deepest feelings of the heart.
I love you is often considered the end all phrases for
affection. Why cheapen this powerful statement by making
it an also? Saying I love you is the phrase we are add to a
relationship to escalate it. It is a natural way of moving
things forward. It represents the most profound feelings of
affection. We shouldn't cheapen it.
Where we are so hesitant to tell a significant other we love
them the first them, no one wants to rush into that, we
often seem to forget its profound significance. By the
second or third time we say it, we are repeating it back to
another, responding to their I love you with a "too" because
we allow it to become a routine.
If you want a jump start to your relationship, if you want to
do something small but new, stop saying too when saying I
love you. If your partner gifts you with those words,
respond if you feel compelled but never because it is the
expected courtesy. (It is important that if try this
experiment, you share this with your partners first so they
are not taken by surprise when you don't just openly repeat
"I love you too" every time they say I love you.)
Let's take back the power of this phrase. When someone
you love says I love you, react in one of two ways.
Say you love them because you do and can feel every part
of these words in this moment, not because you are
vending machine that dispenses an "I love you too" in
exchange for an "I love you."
Or wait. Don't say I love you in that moment because you
do not feel it at that time. Only say I love you when you
mean it fully with every visceral part of your heart.
Removing the routine of repeating "I love you too" every
time our partner tells us they love us is powerful. It makes
us speaking these words authentic, makes love as
meaningful as the first time we were nervous and anxious
about saying it. When we stop using "I love you" as a
response and forgo adding "too" it means that we are
saying I love you because we are acting on our own
thoughts, not reacting to another's.
Cut the "too" out of your "I love you's." Let's make love less
a reaction and more an action of care and hope, inspired by
beauty and touching the ears of your partner like a kiss.
Saying I love you has power. The results can be wonderful
once you cut out the obligation of too and focus on only
speaking from the heart. Let's not rob the power of these
word by making them a further addition but returning them
to an independent declaration.
Project explains why one of the most uttered phrases in
history, never defines a person's true feelings towards their
partners.
Here's what he wrote:
I made myself a promise a long time ago. Whenever I was in
relationships, whenever I found someone significant
enough that I felt comfortable saying "I love you", I would
not add the word "too."
My reasons for this are many but mostly because I do not
believe the word "too" has any room in relationships,
especially when concerning matters of love.
Look at the meaning of too, its root and principles. Too
means also. Furthermore. In addition. More so. Too is not a
separate clause, it is support for something already
existing. Too does not require one to make their own choice
or further their life by personal actions but instead is
throwing oneself in support of an existing thought.
There is nothing inspiring or original about too. Too is not
an action but a reaction. It follows another's ideas and saps
power from their concept. Too is the equivalent of saying
ditto. Why would we ever add "too" to "I love you" then?
I love you should be a statement of power. It is something
to say to another because it is meant from within the
depths of our heart. When we tell someone we love them, it
should be organic, brought about because we experience
these emotions on a visceral level.
Love is a manifestation of feelings we speak because we
have lost all other words to describe the intensity we feel in
a relationship. A good I love you, spoken at the right
moments, compresses all the intimacies of caring for
another into a few words that can be said to sum up the
deepest feelings of the heart.
I love you is often considered the end all phrases for
affection. Why cheapen this powerful statement by making
it an also? Saying I love you is the phrase we are add to a
relationship to escalate it. It is a natural way of moving
things forward. It represents the most profound feelings of
affection. We shouldn't cheapen it.
Where we are so hesitant to tell a significant other we love
them the first them, no one wants to rush into that, we
often seem to forget its profound significance. By the
second or third time we say it, we are repeating it back to
another, responding to their I love you with a "too" because
we allow it to become a routine.
If you want a jump start to your relationship, if you want to
do something small but new, stop saying too when saying I
love you. If your partner gifts you with those words,
respond if you feel compelled but never because it is the
expected courtesy. (It is important that if try this
experiment, you share this with your partners first so they
are not taken by surprise when you don't just openly repeat
"I love you too" every time they say I love you.)
Let's take back the power of this phrase. When someone
you love says I love you, react in one of two ways.
Say you love them because you do and can feel every part
of these words in this moment, not because you are
vending machine that dispenses an "I love you too" in
exchange for an "I love you."
Or wait. Don't say I love you in that moment because you
do not feel it at that time. Only say I love you when you
mean it fully with every visceral part of your heart.
Removing the routine of repeating "I love you too" every
time our partner tells us they love us is powerful. It makes
us speaking these words authentic, makes love as
meaningful as the first time we were nervous and anxious
about saying it. When we stop using "I love you" as a
response and forgo adding "too" it means that we are
saying I love you because we are acting on our own
thoughts, not reacting to another's.
Cut the "too" out of your "I love you's." Let's make love less
a reaction and more an action of care and hope, inspired by
beauty and touching the ears of your partner like a kiss.
Saying I love you has power. The results can be wonderful
once you cut out the obligation of too and focus on only
speaking from the heart. Let's not rob the power of these
word by making them a further addition but returning them
to an independent declaration.
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Easy Ways To Boost Your Confidence
You want to feel confident, right?
You want to be able to walk around, knowing you’re an
awesome person and truly believing it. You see
everyone else doing it – strutting about full of
themselves – but for you, it just doesn’t seem to come
naturally. Whenever you try to act confident, your
thoughts seem to end up back on your insecurities.
Every moment passing is a moment you’ve spiraled
deeper into this idea of insecurity and despair.
Stop.
Everyone gets insecure at
times, that’s life. But
existing in insecurity?
That’s a habit that you
learn. A learned thought-
pattern. You can do
something about it. In fact,
here are 11 things you can
do to boost your
confidence right now.
1. Smile more
Sounds weird, right?
Why would smiling improve your confidence? It’s
actually pretty simple. Smiling makes you feel good. It
fools your mind into being happier. When you feel
good, you’re more likely to think you – as a whole
being – are good.
So by elevating your mood, you elevate your
confidence. You become less concerned with your
flaws, or what you perceive to be flaws. You become
less fixated on that self-damaging inner monologue,
and more absorbed in appreciating where you
currently are. Just have a read of this article to
understand how powerful smiling actually is!
2. Recognise your short-comings
Part of being confident is knowing who you are, what
you are, and what you do well. Another part of
confidence is knowing what you don’t do so well. Why
is it important to know what you don’t do well at? For
multiple reasons:
1. You can improve. Knowing you don’t do well at
something gives you the insight to actively do
something about it. If you’re unaware that you
don’t do something very well, you won’t be able to
work on it – it’s as simple as that.
2. You know what you’re capable of. By knowing this,
you can easily avoid situations where your
confidence may take a blow by these short-
comings because you’re already aware of them!
3. Knowing where you fall short ultimately shines
light on where you excel. We can’t all excel at
absolutely everything, but this just helps us to
appreciate where we excel even more.
4. We can hand over what we can’t do well, to those
who will do it well.
So while it may sound contradictory to feeling
confident, ultimately it opens us up to the reality of
being human. It frees you from the need to be a
perfectionist. That in itself will sky-rocket your
confidence because you also realise that everyone else
is going through the exact same thing!
3. Wear your best dress
This point isn’t literal, but of course it can be. It’s just a
cute way of saying, “wear what makes you feel good.”
We all have a ‘best dress.’ It’s not always a dress, of
course, it can be a shirt, a tie, a pair of shoes, or
whatever. It doesn’t matter what it is. Just find that
object that makes you feel good and wear it. Soak it in,
knowing you look good. Feeling good shows; the
confidence oozes out of you.
It’s a good one when you need that little extra kick of
confidence. Just read this interview with David Sarwer,
a contributing researcher for the Center for Human
Appearance, for an overview of the science behind
looking good making you feel good.
4. Ditch the comparisons
You are you. That’s all that can be expected of you.
There’s really no point in comparing the unique person
that is yourself to someone else. Just remember:
You have not walked the same path as the person
you are comparing yourself to.
You have not had the same opportunities as the
person you are comparing yourself to.
You do not possess the same set of tools as the
person you are comparing yourself to.
There will be places that you excel, where others will
fall short. There will be places that you fall short,
where others will excel. This is life. Let it go, and simply
be the best you that you can be. What everyone else is
doing really isn’t a standard to hold yourself to.
5. Let go of other people’s expectations
A lot of insecurity stems from holding yourself to a
standard that someone else made up. Just like the
above point, no one has walked in your shoes and you
have not walked in theirs. What other people expect of
you is irrelevant. It should never be how you define
your worth. You know what you’re going through, you
know what you’ve been through, so only you truly can
know what it is you are capable of.
Free yourself from other people’s expectations. You
be the decider of your worth. You be the decider of
the expectations. When you can reclaim this power,
you’ll realise that a lot of this unease in yourself has
been because you’ve been trying to prove yourself to
someone who can never truly understand you.
6. List 10 things that you like about yourself
Go ahead, do it. 10 things that you like about yourself.
No matter how silly or insignificant they may seem.
Done it? Great. See how easy it is to break away from
putting yourself down?
Continue to build yourself up. Make it a daily habit to
list the things you like about yourself. Watch as your
confidence soars.
7. Be prepared
When you are prepared, you’re going to be more
confident with the situation you’re going into. For
example, say you were going camping. It would be
pretty nerve-wracking to go into it without any gear,
any preparation, and no idea of where you’re going,
right?
Now say you’ve taken the time to get all your gear
together, establish an action plan, and know where
you’re heading. You’ll be a lot more confident going
into it.
You can relate this to any everyday situation. If you’re
going to a party, be prepared by looking good, feeling
good and having some conversation topics in mind. If
you’re giving a speech, be prepared by knowing your
speech. If you’re giving a presentation, practice
presenting it. Preparation will lead you to security in
the situation. (Confidence!)
8. Gear the conversation to a topic you know
If you commonly find yourself feeling insecure in
social situations, and as though you have nothing to
contribute to conversations, there’s a simple trick to
fix that: Talk about what you know.
Obviously you don’t need to walk up and just start
aimlessly talking about it, just strike up a casual
conversation with someone about something they’ve
said. Once you’re talking to them about what they said,
relate what it is you know to what it is they said. (It’s
not as hard as it sounds.)
There are infinite ways to relate topics to each other.
Just find the overlap. Practice it on friends first if you
don’t feel confident doing it with strangers, every step
you take towards practising this will increase your
confidence in social situations exponentially.
9. Identify your passions in life
There’s something about passion that brings out the
most complex beauty within people. That moment
when your eyes are full of awe and wonder,
completely captivated by the moment, caught up in an
inner sense of purpose and a burning desire.
When you know your passion in life, it gives you a lot
more sense of purpose. It gives you direction. It gives
you meaning. It gives you security. Ultimately, these all
translate into one thing… Confidence.
If you know what you’re passionate about, you’ll
always have a reserve of confidence at your disposal.
10. Ask other people for their opinion on you
It’s easy to get trapped in your head, and be convinced
all of these flaws that you see are how everyone else
sees you. Luckily, it’s pretty simple to remedy this self-
damaging thought pattern. Go to someone you’re
close with and ask them what they think of you. Listen
to all the loving things they have to say about you.
Listen as they point out all of your awesome points,
that they see, rather than the flaws that you see.
Once they’ve given you their opinion of you, try to
understand it. Try to accept it. Try to realise that very
few people, if any at all, are looking at you and seeing
these flaws you’ve identified in your head. They’re
seeing you when you’re not caught up in all this self-
damaging monologue. There’s a beauty to you that
you’re often blind to.
11. Be yourself
As simple as it is, and as contradictory as it may sound:
being yourself is the ultimate source of confidence.
When you are simply yourself, you’ll realise that all the
masks you’ve worn were only ever holding you back
from being confident.
Owning who you are frees you from comparisons and
judgement, because you are what you are – it doesn’t
matter what anyone else thinks.
Ultimately confidence is something you exude when
you unlearn the habit of constant insecurity. Deep
down, you’re aware you have talents, worth and a
unique value to bring to every situation. You just need
to peel off the insecurity that you learned and allow
that confidence to shine.
If you’ve got anything to add, then please just drop it
in the comments below. If you think you know
someone that could benefit from this, just share it!
You want to be able to walk around, knowing you’re an
awesome person and truly believing it. You see
everyone else doing it – strutting about full of
themselves – but for you, it just doesn’t seem to come
naturally. Whenever you try to act confident, your
thoughts seem to end up back on your insecurities.
Every moment passing is a moment you’ve spiraled
deeper into this idea of insecurity and despair.
Stop.
Everyone gets insecure at
times, that’s life. But
existing in insecurity?
That’s a habit that you
learn. A learned thought-
pattern. You can do
something about it. In fact,
here are 11 things you can
do to boost your
confidence right now.
1. Smile more
Sounds weird, right?
Why would smiling improve your confidence? It’s
actually pretty simple. Smiling makes you feel good. It
fools your mind into being happier. When you feel
good, you’re more likely to think you – as a whole
being – are good.
So by elevating your mood, you elevate your
confidence. You become less concerned with your
flaws, or what you perceive to be flaws. You become
less fixated on that self-damaging inner monologue,
and more absorbed in appreciating where you
currently are. Just have a read of this article to
understand how powerful smiling actually is!
2. Recognise your short-comings
Part of being confident is knowing who you are, what
you are, and what you do well. Another part of
confidence is knowing what you don’t do so well. Why
is it important to know what you don’t do well at? For
multiple reasons:
1. You can improve. Knowing you don’t do well at
something gives you the insight to actively do
something about it. If you’re unaware that you
don’t do something very well, you won’t be able to
work on it – it’s as simple as that.
2. You know what you’re capable of. By knowing this,
you can easily avoid situations where your
confidence may take a blow by these short-
comings because you’re already aware of them!
3. Knowing where you fall short ultimately shines
light on where you excel. We can’t all excel at
absolutely everything, but this just helps us to
appreciate where we excel even more.
4. We can hand over what we can’t do well, to those
who will do it well.
So while it may sound contradictory to feeling
confident, ultimately it opens us up to the reality of
being human. It frees you from the need to be a
perfectionist. That in itself will sky-rocket your
confidence because you also realise that everyone else
is going through the exact same thing!
3. Wear your best dress
This point isn’t literal, but of course it can be. It’s just a
cute way of saying, “wear what makes you feel good.”
We all have a ‘best dress.’ It’s not always a dress, of
course, it can be a shirt, a tie, a pair of shoes, or
whatever. It doesn’t matter what it is. Just find that
object that makes you feel good and wear it. Soak it in,
knowing you look good. Feeling good shows; the
confidence oozes out of you.
It’s a good one when you need that little extra kick of
confidence. Just read this interview with David Sarwer,
a contributing researcher for the Center for Human
Appearance, for an overview of the science behind
looking good making you feel good.
4. Ditch the comparisons
You are you. That’s all that can be expected of you.
There’s really no point in comparing the unique person
that is yourself to someone else. Just remember:
You have not walked the same path as the person
you are comparing yourself to.
You have not had the same opportunities as the
person you are comparing yourself to.
You do not possess the same set of tools as the
person you are comparing yourself to.
There will be places that you excel, where others will
fall short. There will be places that you fall short,
where others will excel. This is life. Let it go, and simply
be the best you that you can be. What everyone else is
doing really isn’t a standard to hold yourself to.
5. Let go of other people’s expectations
A lot of insecurity stems from holding yourself to a
standard that someone else made up. Just like the
above point, no one has walked in your shoes and you
have not walked in theirs. What other people expect of
you is irrelevant. It should never be how you define
your worth. You know what you’re going through, you
know what you’ve been through, so only you truly can
know what it is you are capable of.
Free yourself from other people’s expectations. You
be the decider of your worth. You be the decider of
the expectations. When you can reclaim this power,
you’ll realise that a lot of this unease in yourself has
been because you’ve been trying to prove yourself to
someone who can never truly understand you.
6. List 10 things that you like about yourself
Go ahead, do it. 10 things that you like about yourself.
No matter how silly or insignificant they may seem.
Done it? Great. See how easy it is to break away from
putting yourself down?
Continue to build yourself up. Make it a daily habit to
list the things you like about yourself. Watch as your
confidence soars.
7. Be prepared
When you are prepared, you’re going to be more
confident with the situation you’re going into. For
example, say you were going camping. It would be
pretty nerve-wracking to go into it without any gear,
any preparation, and no idea of where you’re going,
right?
Now say you’ve taken the time to get all your gear
together, establish an action plan, and know where
you’re heading. You’ll be a lot more confident going
into it.
You can relate this to any everyday situation. If you’re
going to a party, be prepared by looking good, feeling
good and having some conversation topics in mind. If
you’re giving a speech, be prepared by knowing your
speech. If you’re giving a presentation, practice
presenting it. Preparation will lead you to security in
the situation. (Confidence!)
8. Gear the conversation to a topic you know
If you commonly find yourself feeling insecure in
social situations, and as though you have nothing to
contribute to conversations, there’s a simple trick to
fix that: Talk about what you know.
Obviously you don’t need to walk up and just start
aimlessly talking about it, just strike up a casual
conversation with someone about something they’ve
said. Once you’re talking to them about what they said,
relate what it is you know to what it is they said. (It’s
not as hard as it sounds.)
There are infinite ways to relate topics to each other.
Just find the overlap. Practice it on friends first if you
don’t feel confident doing it with strangers, every step
you take towards practising this will increase your
confidence in social situations exponentially.
9. Identify your passions in life
There’s something about passion that brings out the
most complex beauty within people. That moment
when your eyes are full of awe and wonder,
completely captivated by the moment, caught up in an
inner sense of purpose and a burning desire.
When you know your passion in life, it gives you a lot
more sense of purpose. It gives you direction. It gives
you meaning. It gives you security. Ultimately, these all
translate into one thing… Confidence.
If you know what you’re passionate about, you’ll
always have a reserve of confidence at your disposal.
10. Ask other people for their opinion on you
It’s easy to get trapped in your head, and be convinced
all of these flaws that you see are how everyone else
sees you. Luckily, it’s pretty simple to remedy this self-
damaging thought pattern. Go to someone you’re
close with and ask them what they think of you. Listen
to all the loving things they have to say about you.
Listen as they point out all of your awesome points,
that they see, rather than the flaws that you see.
Once they’ve given you their opinion of you, try to
understand it. Try to accept it. Try to realise that very
few people, if any at all, are looking at you and seeing
these flaws you’ve identified in your head. They’re
seeing you when you’re not caught up in all this self-
damaging monologue. There’s a beauty to you that
you’re often blind to.
11. Be yourself
As simple as it is, and as contradictory as it may sound:
being yourself is the ultimate source of confidence.
When you are simply yourself, you’ll realise that all the
masks you’ve worn were only ever holding you back
from being confident.
Owning who you are frees you from comparisons and
judgement, because you are what you are – it doesn’t
matter what anyone else thinks.
Ultimately confidence is something you exude when
you unlearn the habit of constant insecurity. Deep
down, you’re aware you have talents, worth and a
unique value to bring to every situation. You just need
to peel off the insecurity that you learned and allow
that confidence to shine.
If you’ve got anything to add, then please just drop it
in the comments below. If you think you know
someone that could benefit from this, just share it!
Little Habits That Steal Your HappinessWithout You Knowing It
You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your
habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Here are
a few examples of the latter that will steal your
happiness if you let them:
1. Focusing on everyone’s story except your
own.
Don’t be so satisfied with the success stories of others
and how things have gone for them that you forget to
write your own. Unfold your own tale and bring it to
life. You have everything you need to become what
you are capable of becoming. Incredible change
happens when you decide to take control. This means
consuming less and creating more. It means refusing
to let others do your thinking, talking, and deciding for
you. It means learning to respect and use your own
ideas and instincts to write your passage.
If you want your life story to soar to new heights,
you’ve got to clear a path, reduce the time-sinks and
burdens weighing you down, and pick up the things
that give you wings. Keep your best wishes and your
biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to
them every day. If you truly care about what you do
and you work diligently at it, there’s almost nothing
you can’t accomplish.
2. Waiting for the perfect moment.
Don’t buy into the myth of the perfect moment.
Moments aren’t perfect; they’re what you make them.
So many people wait around for the stars to align to
do what they’re here to do. The perfect moment, the
perfect opportunity, the perfect state of being, etc.
Wake up! These states of perfection are myths. They
do not exist.
Your ability to grow to your highest potential is directly
related to your willingness to act in the face of
imperfection. You will come to succeed not byfinding a
perfect moment, but by learning to see and use life’s
imperfections perfectly.
3. Working for nothing more than a paycheck.
Work without interest is imprisonment. Even if you
aren’t super-passionate about your work, you’ve got to
at least be interested in it. When you design a lifestyle
in which your work is something you suffer through
daily strictly to pay your bills, you end up spending
your entire life wishing you had someone else’s.
Think about it. This is your life; your work will fill a
large percentage of it. It’s not all about the money; it’s
about you. Ignore the propaganda, especially from
people who say, “Don’t let your work define you.”
Reverse this message and mediate on it: “I will do work
that defines me.” When the essence of who you are
defines at least some slice of the work you do for a
living, that work generates fulfillment.
Bottom line: Interest in your work puts quality in your
output and happiness in your mind. Don’t settle for a
paycheck. Shuffle around until you find work that
interests you.
4. Harboring feelings of hate.
As Martin Luther King Jr. so profoundly said,
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do
that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do
that.” Truth be told, when we harbor feelings of hate,
it eventually gets the best of us. It takes control of us.
We forget why we hate, what we hate, and whom we
hate – we simply hate for the sake of hating. And then,
naturally, we begin to hate ourselves too.
Everything and everyone you hate rents permanent
space in both your head and heart. So if you want to
eliminate something or someone from your mind,
don’t hate. Instead, disconnect yourself, move on, and
don’t look back.
5. Holding tight to worries and fears.
Someday when you look back over your life you’ll
realize that nearly all of your worries and anxious
fears never came to fruition – they were completely
unfounded. So why not wake up and realize this right
now. When you look back over the last few years, how
many opportunities for joy did you destroy with
needless worry and negativity? Although there’s
nothing you can do about these lost joys, there’s
plenty you can do about the ones that are still to
come.
You will find that it’s necessary to let some things go
simply for the reason that they’re heavy on your heart
and soul. Let go of them. Don’t clamp shackles to your
own ankles. It’s incredibly easy to enjoy more of your
life right now, no matter what the situation. It’s just a
matter of letting go of the layers of nonsense that are
weighing you down.
Let go of your worries and fears, of your rage and
jealousy, of your need to always be right and control
others. Let go of your pretentiousness and your need
to have everything your way. Underneath all these
layers of nonsense there is a happy, productive
person. When you start peeling them off and simply
appreciating everything for what it is, life can be
wonderfully fulfilling.
6. Dwelling on difficulties.
A bad day is just a bad day. Choose not to make it
anything more. Times of adversity will inevitably affect
the conditions in which you live and work; yet you
don’t have to let it affect who you are and where
you’re headed. Take note of the setbacks and adjust to
them, but don’t expand on them by making them a
bigger part of your life.
Every day brings new lessons and new possibilities.
There is always a way to take the next step forward on
the path you’ve chosen. Events may be terrible and
inescapable at times, but you always have choice – if
not when, then how, you may endure and proceed
onward.
7. Constantly seeking fleeting contentment.
There are two variations of contentment in life –
fleeting and enduring. The fleeting type is derived
from instants of material comfort, while the enduring
type is attained through the gradual growth of your
mind. At a glimpse it might be difficult to decipher one
from the other, but as time rolls on it becomes vividly
obvious that the latter is far superior.
Enduring contentment sustains itself through life’s ups
and downs, because through them your mind remains
confident and at peace. On the other hand, when life’s
fleeting changes have the ability to ruffle your mind
into a frenzy, even the most elaborate physical
comforts won’t make you any happier for very long.
8. Trying to make a big difference all at once.
If you want to make a difference in the world, start
with the world around you. Making a big difference all
at once is usually impossible, and the process of trying
is extremely stressful. However, instantly making a
difference in a few lives is entirely possible and usually
fairly easy. You just have to focus on one person at a
time and start with the one closest to you.
Work to make a bunch of small splashes, and let the
ripples spread naturally. If you want to change a
person’s mind or mood, sometimes you have to
change the minds or moods of the people around
them first. For instance, if you make one person smile,
their smile just might make others smile too. In this
subtle way, you can touch the masses with your
thoughtfulness without stressing yourself out.
9. Holding on to someone who hurts you.
Sometimes you have to walk away from people, not
because you don’t care, but because they don’t. When
someone hurts you time and time again, accept the
fact that they don’t care about you. It’s a tough pill to
swallow, but it’s necessary medicine. Do NOT strive to
impress them any further. Waste not another second
of your time trying to prove something to them.
Nothing needs to be proven. Do not act with any
thought of them ever again.
10. Over-amplifying the importance of
physical attractiveness.
Infatuating yourself with someone simply for what
they look like on the outside is like choosing your
favorite food based on color instead of taste. It makes
no sense. It’s innate, invisible, unquantifiable
characteristics that create lasting attraction.
Just as some people enjoy the smell of mint, while
others prefer the scent of cinnamon, there is an
undeniable, magnetic draw that attracts you to the
qualities of certain people, places, and things.
Sometimes it’s even the scars your soul shares with
them that reels you in and creates the very hinges that
hold you together in the long run.
habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Here are
a few examples of the latter that will steal your
happiness if you let them:
1. Focusing on everyone’s story except your
own.
Don’t be so satisfied with the success stories of others
and how things have gone for them that you forget to
write your own. Unfold your own tale and bring it to
life. You have everything you need to become what
you are capable of becoming. Incredible change
happens when you decide to take control. This means
consuming less and creating more. It means refusing
to let others do your thinking, talking, and deciding for
you. It means learning to respect and use your own
ideas and instincts to write your passage.
If you want your life story to soar to new heights,
you’ve got to clear a path, reduce the time-sinks and
burdens weighing you down, and pick up the things
that give you wings. Keep your best wishes and your
biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to
them every day. If you truly care about what you do
and you work diligently at it, there’s almost nothing
you can’t accomplish.
2. Waiting for the perfect moment.
Don’t buy into the myth of the perfect moment.
Moments aren’t perfect; they’re what you make them.
So many people wait around for the stars to align to
do what they’re here to do. The perfect moment, the
perfect opportunity, the perfect state of being, etc.
Wake up! These states of perfection are myths. They
do not exist.
Your ability to grow to your highest potential is directly
related to your willingness to act in the face of
imperfection. You will come to succeed not byfinding a
perfect moment, but by learning to see and use life’s
imperfections perfectly.
3. Working for nothing more than a paycheck.
Work without interest is imprisonment. Even if you
aren’t super-passionate about your work, you’ve got to
at least be interested in it. When you design a lifestyle
in which your work is something you suffer through
daily strictly to pay your bills, you end up spending
your entire life wishing you had someone else’s.
Think about it. This is your life; your work will fill a
large percentage of it. It’s not all about the money; it’s
about you. Ignore the propaganda, especially from
people who say, “Don’t let your work define you.”
Reverse this message and mediate on it: “I will do work
that defines me.” When the essence of who you are
defines at least some slice of the work you do for a
living, that work generates fulfillment.
Bottom line: Interest in your work puts quality in your
output and happiness in your mind. Don’t settle for a
paycheck. Shuffle around until you find work that
interests you.
4. Harboring feelings of hate.
As Martin Luther King Jr. so profoundly said,
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do
that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do
that.” Truth be told, when we harbor feelings of hate,
it eventually gets the best of us. It takes control of us.
We forget why we hate, what we hate, and whom we
hate – we simply hate for the sake of hating. And then,
naturally, we begin to hate ourselves too.
Everything and everyone you hate rents permanent
space in both your head and heart. So if you want to
eliminate something or someone from your mind,
don’t hate. Instead, disconnect yourself, move on, and
don’t look back.
5. Holding tight to worries and fears.
Someday when you look back over your life you’ll
realize that nearly all of your worries and anxious
fears never came to fruition – they were completely
unfounded. So why not wake up and realize this right
now. When you look back over the last few years, how
many opportunities for joy did you destroy with
needless worry and negativity? Although there’s
nothing you can do about these lost joys, there’s
plenty you can do about the ones that are still to
come.
You will find that it’s necessary to let some things go
simply for the reason that they’re heavy on your heart
and soul. Let go of them. Don’t clamp shackles to your
own ankles. It’s incredibly easy to enjoy more of your
life right now, no matter what the situation. It’s just a
matter of letting go of the layers of nonsense that are
weighing you down.
Let go of your worries and fears, of your rage and
jealousy, of your need to always be right and control
others. Let go of your pretentiousness and your need
to have everything your way. Underneath all these
layers of nonsense there is a happy, productive
person. When you start peeling them off and simply
appreciating everything for what it is, life can be
wonderfully fulfilling.
6. Dwelling on difficulties.
A bad day is just a bad day. Choose not to make it
anything more. Times of adversity will inevitably affect
the conditions in which you live and work; yet you
don’t have to let it affect who you are and where
you’re headed. Take note of the setbacks and adjust to
them, but don’t expand on them by making them a
bigger part of your life.
Every day brings new lessons and new possibilities.
There is always a way to take the next step forward on
the path you’ve chosen. Events may be terrible and
inescapable at times, but you always have choice – if
not when, then how, you may endure and proceed
onward.
7. Constantly seeking fleeting contentment.
There are two variations of contentment in life –
fleeting and enduring. The fleeting type is derived
from instants of material comfort, while the enduring
type is attained through the gradual growth of your
mind. At a glimpse it might be difficult to decipher one
from the other, but as time rolls on it becomes vividly
obvious that the latter is far superior.
Enduring contentment sustains itself through life’s ups
and downs, because through them your mind remains
confident and at peace. On the other hand, when life’s
fleeting changes have the ability to ruffle your mind
into a frenzy, even the most elaborate physical
comforts won’t make you any happier for very long.
8. Trying to make a big difference all at once.
If you want to make a difference in the world, start
with the world around you. Making a big difference all
at once is usually impossible, and the process of trying
is extremely stressful. However, instantly making a
difference in a few lives is entirely possible and usually
fairly easy. You just have to focus on one person at a
time and start with the one closest to you.
Work to make a bunch of small splashes, and let the
ripples spread naturally. If you want to change a
person’s mind or mood, sometimes you have to
change the minds or moods of the people around
them first. For instance, if you make one person smile,
their smile just might make others smile too. In this
subtle way, you can touch the masses with your
thoughtfulness without stressing yourself out.
9. Holding on to someone who hurts you.
Sometimes you have to walk away from people, not
because you don’t care, but because they don’t. When
someone hurts you time and time again, accept the
fact that they don’t care about you. It’s a tough pill to
swallow, but it’s necessary medicine. Do NOT strive to
impress them any further. Waste not another second
of your time trying to prove something to them.
Nothing needs to be proven. Do not act with any
thought of them ever again.
10. Over-amplifying the importance of
physical attractiveness.
Infatuating yourself with someone simply for what
they look like on the outside is like choosing your
favorite food based on color instead of taste. It makes
no sense. It’s innate, invisible, unquantifiable
characteristics that create lasting attraction.
Just as some people enjoy the smell of mint, while
others prefer the scent of cinnamon, there is an
undeniable, magnetic draw that attracts you to the
qualities of certain people, places, and things.
Sometimes it’s even the scars your soul shares with
them that reels you in and creates the very hinges that
hold you together in the long run.
Monday, May 23, 2016
Reasons Why Students Fail To GraduateWith Good Grades
There are many factors that can contribute to a
student not graduating with good grade. Many of
these factors may be beyond the control of the
student. However, from observation many students
fail to graduate with good grades for reasons which
can be traced directly to them. They knowingly or
unknowingly plotted their own failure.
Here are 5
common ways
many students
jeopardize
their chances
of graduating
with good
grades;
Poor Start: It is said that
the beginning of a thing
matters. This is true if you
aim to graduate with good
grades. It has been
observed that students
who end up graduating
with good grades are the
ones that started putting
the needed effort right
from their first year. Many
think that they have plenty
of time, so they use their
first year to have “fun” only
to realize how difficult it is to make up for what has
been lost already.
Lack of Interest: For one reason or the other many
students find themselves admitted to study a
particular course they have no interest to study. Many
of such students usually develop apathy for academic
activities. Some others take their academics with levity
hoping they will change into a more preferable course
one later (which may never happen). Only to wish they
have been more serious later. Even if the course
wasn’t what you opted for, take time to find out what
the course is all about and its prospects. You never
can tell, you may end up loving it more than your
preferred course.
There are some others who have no interest
whatsoever in academics. They are in school against
their own will. A student once told me, “I’m here just
because my parents want me to be here.” You can
hardly put a good amount of effort needed to succeed
in something you are not interested in.
Misplaced Priorities/Poor Time Management:
One major cause of failure is broken or diverted focus.
You are in school to study and learn. That means you
shouldn’t focus on something else at the expense of
the main reason you are in school. I am not saying you
shouldn’t take out time to socialize, have fun, etc. but
don’t indulge in these things at the expense of your
study. In higher institutions there are many things that
will likely get you distracted. Hence, the need for you
to get your priorities right, set relevant goals and
eliminate as much distraction as possible in order to
remain focused on your main objective.
Negative Influence: In campus, you are going to
meet the good, the bad and the ugly. Therefore who
you choose or allow to choose you as a friend will
likely influence you either positively or negatively.
Beware of “friends” who will discourage you from
attending lectures and studying.
Poor Study Habits: Since the main objective you
are in school is to study and learn, your success will
depend on your study habits/pattern. Studying hard is
not enough, you also need to study smart. An effective
study habit considers what to study, when to study
and how to study.
student not graduating with good grade. Many of
these factors may be beyond the control of the
student. However, from observation many students
fail to graduate with good grades for reasons which
can be traced directly to them. They knowingly or
unknowingly plotted their own failure.
Here are 5
common ways
many students
jeopardize
their chances
of graduating
with good
grades;
Poor Start: It is said that
the beginning of a thing
matters. This is true if you
aim to graduate with good
grades. It has been
observed that students
who end up graduating
with good grades are the
ones that started putting
the needed effort right
from their first year. Many
think that they have plenty
of time, so they use their
first year to have “fun” only
to realize how difficult it is to make up for what has
been lost already.
Lack of Interest: For one reason or the other many
students find themselves admitted to study a
particular course they have no interest to study. Many
of such students usually develop apathy for academic
activities. Some others take their academics with levity
hoping they will change into a more preferable course
one later (which may never happen). Only to wish they
have been more serious later. Even if the course
wasn’t what you opted for, take time to find out what
the course is all about and its prospects. You never
can tell, you may end up loving it more than your
preferred course.
There are some others who have no interest
whatsoever in academics. They are in school against
their own will. A student once told me, “I’m here just
because my parents want me to be here.” You can
hardly put a good amount of effort needed to succeed
in something you are not interested in.
Misplaced Priorities/Poor Time Management:
One major cause of failure is broken or diverted focus.
You are in school to study and learn. That means you
shouldn’t focus on something else at the expense of
the main reason you are in school. I am not saying you
shouldn’t take out time to socialize, have fun, etc. but
don’t indulge in these things at the expense of your
study. In higher institutions there are many things that
will likely get you distracted. Hence, the need for you
to get your priorities right, set relevant goals and
eliminate as much distraction as possible in order to
remain focused on your main objective.
Negative Influence: In campus, you are going to
meet the good, the bad and the ugly. Therefore who
you choose or allow to choose you as a friend will
likely influence you either positively or negatively.
Beware of “friends” who will discourage you from
attending lectures and studying.
Poor Study Habits: Since the main objective you
are in school is to study and learn, your success will
depend on your study habits/pattern. Studying hard is
not enough, you also need to study smart. An effective
study habit considers what to study, when to study
and how to study.
Answer These Riddles and You Will Find theAnswers to Life
Looking for deeper meaning, trying to find patterns in
everything, eager to answer life’s riddles—it is this
curiosity and hunger for knowledge that has gotten us
to where we are now as a species. We have built an
advanced civilization by coming up with solutions to
problems, and even though we may be somewhat
complacent at this stage of our history, there are still a
lot of little questions that every person needs to
answer throughout his or her life in order to find that
unique brand of happiness that will be slightly
different for each of us.
As I am a big fan of the Socratic method, I will play a
benevolent Riddler and give you a list of brain-teasers
that, when answered and understood, will help you
come closer to finding answers to much deeper
issues. Oh, and trust me, learning how to apply any of
this knowledge in real life, day to day, will be the true
challenge you’ll have to face. There will be enough
space between each riddle and its answer to allow you
to think it over and do some guessing before you scroll
down, so take your time.
Riddle 1
Journey without it
and you will never
prevail, but if you
have too much of it
you will surely fail.
Answer: Confidence
While there are plenty of those who lack the
confidence to stand up for themselves and seize
opportunities, there are also plenty of people out
there who overestimate their abilities and bite off
more than they can chew. To ensure a reasonable
level of happiness in life and achieve as much as you
can, you have to live between these extremes and
learn to strike the right balance between the different
values that you govern yourself by.
Riddle 2
Poor people have it. Rich people need it. It
can make you or break you.
Answer: Adversity
Steel is hardened by being exposed to the roaring fires
of a furnace and then cooled down, and so too is the
human spirit hardened by adversity. The rich and
privileged lack it and often become spoiled, with a
warped view of reality and a childish ignorance of the
ways of the world. However, if a person faces
numerous hardships without the ability to cool down
and recover, his or her spirit can be broken or they can
become bitter and jaded. You need to live through
some tough times to get a respect for life and hone
those survival skills, but remember that there are also
those whose hardships have taken them to a
dangerous place—beware of such people.
Riddle 3
Everyone wants more of it to feel special, yet
the more you have of it the less special you
feel.
Answer: Knowledge
Ah, to be young and foolish is a wonderful thing. You
think you know everything, that you are indestructible
and have life all figured out, then as you get older and
wiser, and delve much deeper into certain subjects,
you suddenly realize just how much more there is to
know. It can take people an entire lifetime to truly
master a skill or acquire detailed knowledge on a topic,
and there are just too many skills and topics for any
one person to cover in several lifetimes.
Understanding this makes you humble, and it also
makes you question people who think they have all the
answers.
Riddle 4
If you have me, you want to share me. If you
share me, you haven’t got me. What am I?
Answer: Secret
Some people fail to grasp the true importance of
secrets. From a moral standpoint, they help you avoid
lying, but at the same time allow you to protect your
privacy and the privacy of those close to you. There is
an urge to gossip and spread interesting information
that we as humans are born with, but it has to be
controlled. Little facts that only a few people know
help strengthen the bonds of friendship and love
between them—protecting someone’s secret in this
day and age is nearly as brave and noble as protecting
them from a wild animal.
Riddle 5
You can only have it once you have given it.
Answer: Respect
One of the most misunderstood concepts out there,
respect is asked for yet seldom given. Some even try to
take it by force or buy it, but if you are unable to show
others respect and treat them as equals you will never
be able to truly earn their respect. People respect
bravery, intelligence, skill, talent, compassion and
physical and mental strength, and these things cannot
be faked.
Riddle 6
Imagine you are in a dark room. How do
you get out?
Answer: Stop imagining it
There is something to be said about the
destructiveness of self-fulfilling prophecies that
people regularly impose upon themselves. When every
hint of trouble is immediately viewed as a disaster and
any attempt at remedying a situation is brushed aside
with “What’s the point? It will never work,” then what
chance do we stand when things really go bad? It is
important not to give up before the battle has even
begun, and to avoid taking yourself to that dark and
lonely place all the time. A little positivity and
determination will go a long way.
Riddle 7
What is always coming but never arrives?
Answer: Tomorrow
Procrastination is born out of laziness and the fear of
making changes, and it is the biggest dream killer out
there. If you keep rescheduling important things for
tomorrow, Monday or next month, you’ll stay in the
same place as the world keeps moving on without you.
Some 20-30 minutes here, an hour or two there,
it’s not much time to invest in bettering yourself and if
you keep doing it every day you will reap huge
benefits. Don’t wait for tomorrow, do what needs to
be done right now.
Riddle 8
At night they come without being fetched.
By day they are lost without being stolen.
Answer: Doubts and fears
That old piece of advice given by our elders: “sleep on
it”, is as simple as it is absolutely brilliant. At night
before sleep we are at our most vulnerable, even if we
have someone to hold tight. Those nagging doubts
come creeping in, our insecurities and fears start
eating away at our mind, and that self-critical voice
gets a bit louder as the room goes quiet. However,
after a good night’s sleep, as we wake up and let some
sunshine into the room, get some fresh coffee and
tasty food in our system, those troubled thoughts
seem miles away. This is a much better time for talking
things over, making big decisions and important
phone calls.
Riddle 9
A prison you feel safe in, yet never quite
happy. Whenever you try to leave, it only
grows bigger.
Answer: Your comfort zone
The feeling of safety we get when we hide in our little
comfort zone is a false one, and the lack of initiative
will eventually lead to us feeling miserable. In order to
improve we have to be willing to try new things, throw
ourselves into uncomfortable situations and learn to
cope with them over time. As we become comfortable
with different situations and become proficient in a
variety of additional skills, that comfort zone will keep
expanding, and we will constantly need to keep
running beyond its edges.
Riddle 10
If you break me I do not stop working; if you
touch me I may be snared; if you lose me
nothing will matter.
Answer: Your heart
Letting someone get close, reach in and touch our
heart is an exhilarating and frightening experience at
the same time. There are plenty of people out there,
more than enough for everyone to find a great match.
In fact, you may find a good match several times over,
and just as your heart breaks it will also mend and be
ready to be touched again. However, if you lose that
empathy that makes you a decent human being, life
will become bleak and meaningless, so keep your heart
somewhere safe and nurture it.
Riddle 11
It starts off light and easy to bear, yet the
more you carry it with you, the heavier a
burden it becomes.
Answer: A guilty conscience
We sometimes make rash decisions, especially when
we are young and full of raging hormones, and even
when we know we did wrong we manage to rationalize
things and convince ourselves that we did nothing
wrong or that we have no choice. The thing is, you can
only keep justifying your actions for so long before
your conscience starts eating away at you. This is why
many people living a dangerous lifestyle, be they thugs
or soldiers and cops, burn out and turn to alcohol or
drugs. Abide by a code of ethics you have adopted at
all times, and you will stay in good mental health.
Riddle 12
I do not listen to reason, but I hear every
siren’s song and will try to steer us towards
the rocks if you let me take the wheel. Who
am I?
Answer: Ego
When you let your ego take over it’s very easy to take
offense at the slightest insult, start shouting matches
with people, try to show off and injure yourself at the
gym, bite off more than you can chew and ruin
relationships. It is only concerned with preserving
your perceived social status and will quickly turn you
into a drooling Neanderthal, and this goes for both
men and women. When you walk out of the house it’s
best to leave your ego at home – you don’t have to
prove anything to anybody as long as you have a good
sense of self-worth and are surrounded by people
who understand and respect you.
Riddle 13
One by one we fall from heaven down into
the depths of past, and our world is ever
upturned so that yet some time we’ll last.
Answer: Dreams and aspirations
The way we see ourselves will change over time, and
some of the dreams we had and the goals we set will
be left behind. However, as our worldview and
personality changes, new dreams and aspirations
emerge, which is a perfectly normal and healthy part
of maturing. We are not giving up who we are, we are
just evolving into an improved version of that same
person, and knowing this allows us to let go of the
past.
Riddle 14
A mile from end to end, yet as close to as a
friend. A precious commodity, freely given.
Found on the rich, poor, short and tall, but
shared among children most of all. What is
it?
Answer: A smile
This simple little thing really becomes a precious
commodity once you get older. A lot of people suffer
from anxiety and depression, and most of us spend a
good part of the week under constant stress. We
forget to smile sincerely, from the bottom of our heart
like the carefree children we once were. This is why
time spent with close family and friends becomes so
precious. We need to remember how to open our eyes
to the beauty and hilarity of the world around us, and
smile more.
Riddle 15
We hurt without moving. We poison without
touching. We bear the truth and the lies. We
are not to be judged by our size. What are
we?
Answer: Words
Our words can have an incredible effect on others.
They can cause pain and sorrow, bring joy and
laughter, make people uncomfortable, educate or
offend. A lot of people don’t really think about the
words they use, but we should all choose our words
more carefully. Just a few inappropriate words
uttered in the wrong moment can change our lives
forever, and it is up to us to learn to communicate
more tactfully so that we can dictate the outcome of
such situations, rather than let our emotions get the
better of us.
Spend a few minutes pondering these riddles and try
to think about a moment in your life that could serve
as an example for any of the points covered here. Feel
free to dissect each of the riddles and come back to
them again after you’ve had them running around in
your head for a day or two
everything, eager to answer life’s riddles—it is this
curiosity and hunger for knowledge that has gotten us
to where we are now as a species. We have built an
advanced civilization by coming up with solutions to
problems, and even though we may be somewhat
complacent at this stage of our history, there are still a
lot of little questions that every person needs to
answer throughout his or her life in order to find that
unique brand of happiness that will be slightly
different for each of us.
As I am a big fan of the Socratic method, I will play a
benevolent Riddler and give you a list of brain-teasers
that, when answered and understood, will help you
come closer to finding answers to much deeper
issues. Oh, and trust me, learning how to apply any of
this knowledge in real life, day to day, will be the true
challenge you’ll have to face. There will be enough
space between each riddle and its answer to allow you
to think it over and do some guessing before you scroll
down, so take your time.
Riddle 1
Journey without it
and you will never
prevail, but if you
have too much of it
you will surely fail.
Answer: Confidence
While there are plenty of those who lack the
confidence to stand up for themselves and seize
opportunities, there are also plenty of people out
there who overestimate their abilities and bite off
more than they can chew. To ensure a reasonable
level of happiness in life and achieve as much as you
can, you have to live between these extremes and
learn to strike the right balance between the different
values that you govern yourself by.
Riddle 2
Poor people have it. Rich people need it. It
can make you or break you.
Answer: Adversity
Steel is hardened by being exposed to the roaring fires
of a furnace and then cooled down, and so too is the
human spirit hardened by adversity. The rich and
privileged lack it and often become spoiled, with a
warped view of reality and a childish ignorance of the
ways of the world. However, if a person faces
numerous hardships without the ability to cool down
and recover, his or her spirit can be broken or they can
become bitter and jaded. You need to live through
some tough times to get a respect for life and hone
those survival skills, but remember that there are also
those whose hardships have taken them to a
dangerous place—beware of such people.
Riddle 3
Everyone wants more of it to feel special, yet
the more you have of it the less special you
feel.
Answer: Knowledge
Ah, to be young and foolish is a wonderful thing. You
think you know everything, that you are indestructible
and have life all figured out, then as you get older and
wiser, and delve much deeper into certain subjects,
you suddenly realize just how much more there is to
know. It can take people an entire lifetime to truly
master a skill or acquire detailed knowledge on a topic,
and there are just too many skills and topics for any
one person to cover in several lifetimes.
Understanding this makes you humble, and it also
makes you question people who think they have all the
answers.
Riddle 4
If you have me, you want to share me. If you
share me, you haven’t got me. What am I?
Answer: Secret
Some people fail to grasp the true importance of
secrets. From a moral standpoint, they help you avoid
lying, but at the same time allow you to protect your
privacy and the privacy of those close to you. There is
an urge to gossip and spread interesting information
that we as humans are born with, but it has to be
controlled. Little facts that only a few people know
help strengthen the bonds of friendship and love
between them—protecting someone’s secret in this
day and age is nearly as brave and noble as protecting
them from a wild animal.
Riddle 5
You can only have it once you have given it.
Answer: Respect
One of the most misunderstood concepts out there,
respect is asked for yet seldom given. Some even try to
take it by force or buy it, but if you are unable to show
others respect and treat them as equals you will never
be able to truly earn their respect. People respect
bravery, intelligence, skill, talent, compassion and
physical and mental strength, and these things cannot
be faked.
Riddle 6
Imagine you are in a dark room. How do
you get out?
Answer: Stop imagining it
There is something to be said about the
destructiveness of self-fulfilling prophecies that
people regularly impose upon themselves. When every
hint of trouble is immediately viewed as a disaster and
any attempt at remedying a situation is brushed aside
with “What’s the point? It will never work,” then what
chance do we stand when things really go bad? It is
important not to give up before the battle has even
begun, and to avoid taking yourself to that dark and
lonely place all the time. A little positivity and
determination will go a long way.
Riddle 7
What is always coming but never arrives?
Answer: Tomorrow
Procrastination is born out of laziness and the fear of
making changes, and it is the biggest dream killer out
there. If you keep rescheduling important things for
tomorrow, Monday or next month, you’ll stay in the
same place as the world keeps moving on without you.
Some 20-30 minutes here, an hour or two there,
it’s not much time to invest in bettering yourself and if
you keep doing it every day you will reap huge
benefits. Don’t wait for tomorrow, do what needs to
be done right now.
Riddle 8
At night they come without being fetched.
By day they are lost without being stolen.
Answer: Doubts and fears
That old piece of advice given by our elders: “sleep on
it”, is as simple as it is absolutely brilliant. At night
before sleep we are at our most vulnerable, even if we
have someone to hold tight. Those nagging doubts
come creeping in, our insecurities and fears start
eating away at our mind, and that self-critical voice
gets a bit louder as the room goes quiet. However,
after a good night’s sleep, as we wake up and let some
sunshine into the room, get some fresh coffee and
tasty food in our system, those troubled thoughts
seem miles away. This is a much better time for talking
things over, making big decisions and important
phone calls.
Riddle 9
A prison you feel safe in, yet never quite
happy. Whenever you try to leave, it only
grows bigger.
Answer: Your comfort zone
The feeling of safety we get when we hide in our little
comfort zone is a false one, and the lack of initiative
will eventually lead to us feeling miserable. In order to
improve we have to be willing to try new things, throw
ourselves into uncomfortable situations and learn to
cope with them over time. As we become comfortable
with different situations and become proficient in a
variety of additional skills, that comfort zone will keep
expanding, and we will constantly need to keep
running beyond its edges.
Riddle 10
If you break me I do not stop working; if you
touch me I may be snared; if you lose me
nothing will matter.
Answer: Your heart
Letting someone get close, reach in and touch our
heart is an exhilarating and frightening experience at
the same time. There are plenty of people out there,
more than enough for everyone to find a great match.
In fact, you may find a good match several times over,
and just as your heart breaks it will also mend and be
ready to be touched again. However, if you lose that
empathy that makes you a decent human being, life
will become bleak and meaningless, so keep your heart
somewhere safe and nurture it.
Riddle 11
It starts off light and easy to bear, yet the
more you carry it with you, the heavier a
burden it becomes.
Answer: A guilty conscience
We sometimes make rash decisions, especially when
we are young and full of raging hormones, and even
when we know we did wrong we manage to rationalize
things and convince ourselves that we did nothing
wrong or that we have no choice. The thing is, you can
only keep justifying your actions for so long before
your conscience starts eating away at you. This is why
many people living a dangerous lifestyle, be they thugs
or soldiers and cops, burn out and turn to alcohol or
drugs. Abide by a code of ethics you have adopted at
all times, and you will stay in good mental health.
Riddle 12
I do not listen to reason, but I hear every
siren’s song and will try to steer us towards
the rocks if you let me take the wheel. Who
am I?
Answer: Ego
When you let your ego take over it’s very easy to take
offense at the slightest insult, start shouting matches
with people, try to show off and injure yourself at the
gym, bite off more than you can chew and ruin
relationships. It is only concerned with preserving
your perceived social status and will quickly turn you
into a drooling Neanderthal, and this goes for both
men and women. When you walk out of the house it’s
best to leave your ego at home – you don’t have to
prove anything to anybody as long as you have a good
sense of self-worth and are surrounded by people
who understand and respect you.
Riddle 13
One by one we fall from heaven down into
the depths of past, and our world is ever
upturned so that yet some time we’ll last.
Answer: Dreams and aspirations
The way we see ourselves will change over time, and
some of the dreams we had and the goals we set will
be left behind. However, as our worldview and
personality changes, new dreams and aspirations
emerge, which is a perfectly normal and healthy part
of maturing. We are not giving up who we are, we are
just evolving into an improved version of that same
person, and knowing this allows us to let go of the
past.
Riddle 14
A mile from end to end, yet as close to as a
friend. A precious commodity, freely given.
Found on the rich, poor, short and tall, but
shared among children most of all. What is
it?
Answer: A smile
This simple little thing really becomes a precious
commodity once you get older. A lot of people suffer
from anxiety and depression, and most of us spend a
good part of the week under constant stress. We
forget to smile sincerely, from the bottom of our heart
like the carefree children we once were. This is why
time spent with close family and friends becomes so
precious. We need to remember how to open our eyes
to the beauty and hilarity of the world around us, and
smile more.
Riddle 15
We hurt without moving. We poison without
touching. We bear the truth and the lies. We
are not to be judged by our size. What are
we?
Answer: Words
Our words can have an incredible effect on others.
They can cause pain and sorrow, bring joy and
laughter, make people uncomfortable, educate or
offend. A lot of people don’t really think about the
words they use, but we should all choose our words
more carefully. Just a few inappropriate words
uttered in the wrong moment can change our lives
forever, and it is up to us to learn to communicate
more tactfully so that we can dictate the outcome of
such situations, rather than let our emotions get the
better of us.
Spend a few minutes pondering these riddles and try
to think about a moment in your life that could serve
as an example for any of the points covered here. Feel
free to dissect each of the riddles and come back to
them again after you’ve had them running around in
your head for a day or two
Saturday, May 21, 2016
ASSOCIATION: 6 Signs It Is Time To Break UpWith Your Friend
In my experience, I’ve learned that friendships can
have a natural tendency to go through different
stages. At one moment you’re both super close and
telling each other everything, but then a few years
later, you just chat and see each other once in a great
while.
There are many reasons for these changes in the
friendship dynamic… one getting married while the
other is still single; one taking on a totally different
career path from the other; one having children while
the other has no children and so on.
Even though these
changes can be upsetting
for one or both people, it
is a natural and healthy
change in the friendship.
We are all growing and
evolving as individuals, so
what we may have been
interested in before may
not be what we are
interested in now.
However, putting all of
that aside, there are a few
moments in life where a
breakup with a friend may
be in order. When we find ourselves questioning
whether we need to breakup with a friend, it can be
very difficult decision to make. So, here I have outlined
five signs where it may be time to breakup with your
friend:
1. They’re critical of you. Do they criticize the way you
dress? Do they put you down for not doing something
“perfect”? That being said, do they talk badly about you
to other people?
2. They seem to want to “compete” with you rather
than support. Do they make comments to you that
highlight how they “did that better”? Did they manage
to accomplish something, but then put you down for
not doing the same? Do they try to take up your
interests or hobbies in a way to try to “beat you” in
some way?
3. They’re users. Are they always asking you to do
them a favor? Do they owe you quite a bit of money,
but keep making excuses to not pay you back? Are they
always coming to you looking for help but they are
never there for you when you need help?
4. They try to make moves on your partner — or they
start dating your ex without discussing it with you
first. Actions like this are a reflection of how much
they truly value your friendship.
5. They lie to you — a lot. A few little lies is one thing,
but when there are many, it can really negatively effect
the genuineness of the friendship. If you are the type
of person that values honesty, vulnerability and
creating depth in your relationships then having a
friend that chronically lies isn’t going to support you in
that.
6. They don’t really support you. When you are going
through a difficult time, are they there for you? Do
they provide you with a good listening ear? Do they
support you in your goals? Do they “cheer you on” in
your endeavors and ask you how you’ve been doing?
Finally, ask yourself the following questions: Why am I
friends with this person? What do I gain by being
friends with this person? What do I enjoy when being
friends with this person?
If you can’t really answer those questions and a few or
all of these five signs are true for you, then a legitimate
breakup may be in order.
Ultimately, remember this: Our friendships are a
reflection of who we are. As we are growing and
evolving as human beings, we may realize that some
aspect of ourselves is no longer serving us. As a result,
we may find ourselves needing to let friends go as
well. It may involve creating some distance to give
ourselves space to grow or it may involve needing to
set boundaries for ourselves and “breaking up” with
that friend. Either way, both are a natural aspect to
our growth.
have a natural tendency to go through different
stages. At one moment you’re both super close and
telling each other everything, but then a few years
later, you just chat and see each other once in a great
while.
There are many reasons for these changes in the
friendship dynamic… one getting married while the
other is still single; one taking on a totally different
career path from the other; one having children while
the other has no children and so on.
Even though these
changes can be upsetting
for one or both people, it
is a natural and healthy
change in the friendship.
We are all growing and
evolving as individuals, so
what we may have been
interested in before may
not be what we are
interested in now.
However, putting all of
that aside, there are a few
moments in life where a
breakup with a friend may
be in order. When we find ourselves questioning
whether we need to breakup with a friend, it can be
very difficult decision to make. So, here I have outlined
five signs where it may be time to breakup with your
friend:
1. They’re critical of you. Do they criticize the way you
dress? Do they put you down for not doing something
“perfect”? That being said, do they talk badly about you
to other people?
2. They seem to want to “compete” with you rather
than support. Do they make comments to you that
highlight how they “did that better”? Did they manage
to accomplish something, but then put you down for
not doing the same? Do they try to take up your
interests or hobbies in a way to try to “beat you” in
some way?
3. They’re users. Are they always asking you to do
them a favor? Do they owe you quite a bit of money,
but keep making excuses to not pay you back? Are they
always coming to you looking for help but they are
never there for you when you need help?
4. They try to make moves on your partner — or they
start dating your ex without discussing it with you
first. Actions like this are a reflection of how much
they truly value your friendship.
5. They lie to you — a lot. A few little lies is one thing,
but when there are many, it can really negatively effect
the genuineness of the friendship. If you are the type
of person that values honesty, vulnerability and
creating depth in your relationships then having a
friend that chronically lies isn’t going to support you in
that.
6. They don’t really support you. When you are going
through a difficult time, are they there for you? Do
they provide you with a good listening ear? Do they
support you in your goals? Do they “cheer you on” in
your endeavors and ask you how you’ve been doing?
Finally, ask yourself the following questions: Why am I
friends with this person? What do I gain by being
friends with this person? What do I enjoy when being
friends with this person?
If you can’t really answer those questions and a few or
all of these five signs are true for you, then a legitimate
breakup may be in order.
Ultimately, remember this: Our friendships are a
reflection of who we are. As we are growing and
evolving as human beings, we may realize that some
aspect of ourselves is no longer serving us. As a result,
we may find ourselves needing to let friends go as
well. It may involve creating some distance to give
ourselves space to grow or it may involve needing to
set boundaries for ourselves and “breaking up” with
that friend. Either way, both are a natural aspect to
our growth.
Friday, May 20, 2016
Ksu boy and gal palava : Things To Avoid When Toasting A KSU.Campus Girl
1) Avoid cramming – some dudes these days fail to
convince a girl beyond reasonable doubt because of
cramming. Why cram for God sake. You have to be
bold and confident enough to articulate your words
for her………..remember that she won’t kill you.the
worse thing she can do is to turn you down.
2)Never downgrade yourself– know that you are
intelligent to convince her. It is this your self worth dat
will give you inspiration to braiinwash her. I want u to
know dat majority of those beautiful girls on d street
has nothin in the head. Be inferor in ur dealings. Never
down grade ur self…….your intelligence is celestial.
3)Never turn to teacher- where do you live,are u d
last born,where does your father work! Haba are u a
village teacher. First comport your self and go straight
to d issue. Dont bore her with almighty formular
question. Know dat your first discussion wit her will
determine her her aproach to u………your first
discussion must be diplomatic not questionably
epileptic.
convince a girl beyond reasonable doubt because of
cramming. Why cram for God sake. You have to be
bold and confident enough to articulate your words
for her………..remember that she won’t kill you.the
worse thing she can do is to turn you down.
2)Never downgrade yourself– know that you are
intelligent to convince her. It is this your self worth dat
will give you inspiration to braiinwash her. I want u to
know dat majority of those beautiful girls on d street
has nothin in the head. Be inferor in ur dealings. Never
down grade ur self…….your intelligence is celestial.
3)Never turn to teacher- where do you live,are u d
last born,where does your father work! Haba are u a
village teacher. First comport your self and go straight
to d issue. Dont bore her with almighty formular
question. Know dat your first discussion wit her will
determine her her aproach to u………your first
discussion must be diplomatic not questionably
epileptic.
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