You ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your
habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Here are
a few examples of the latter that will steal your
happiness if you let them:
1. Focusing on everyone’s story except your
own.
Don’t be so satisfied with the success stories of others
and how things have gone for them that you forget to
write your own. Unfold your own tale and bring it to
life. You have everything you need to become what
you are capable of becoming. Incredible change
happens when you decide to take control. This means
consuming less and creating more. It means refusing
to let others do your thinking, talking, and deciding for
you. It means learning to respect and use your own
ideas and instincts to write your passage.
If you want your life story to soar to new heights,
you’ve got to clear a path, reduce the time-sinks and
burdens weighing you down, and pick up the things
that give you wings. Keep your best wishes and your
biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to
them every day. If you truly care about what you do
and you work diligently at it, there’s almost nothing
you can’t accomplish.
2. Waiting for the perfect moment.
Don’t buy into the myth of the perfect moment.
Moments aren’t perfect; they’re what you make them.
So many people wait around for the stars to align to
do what they’re here to do. The perfect moment, the
perfect opportunity, the perfect state of being, etc.
Wake up! These states of perfection are myths. They
do not exist.
Your ability to grow to your highest potential is directly
related to your willingness to act in the face of
imperfection. You will come to succeed not byfinding a
perfect moment, but by learning to see and use life’s
imperfections perfectly.
3. Working for nothing more than a paycheck.
Work without interest is imprisonment. Even if you
aren’t super-passionate about your work, you’ve got to
at least be interested in it. When you design a lifestyle
in which your work is something you suffer through
daily strictly to pay your bills, you end up spending
your entire life wishing you had someone else’s.
Think about it. This is your life; your work will fill a
large percentage of it. It’s not all about the money; it’s
about you. Ignore the propaganda, especially from
people who say, “Don’t let your work define you.”
Reverse this message and mediate on it: “I will do work
that defines me.” When the essence of who you are
defines at least some slice of the work you do for a
living, that work generates fulfillment.
Bottom line: Interest in your work puts quality in your
output and happiness in your mind. Don’t settle for a
paycheck. Shuffle around until you find work that
interests you.
4. Harboring feelings of hate.
As Martin Luther King Jr. so profoundly said,
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do
that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do
that.” Truth be told, when we harbor feelings of hate,
it eventually gets the best of us. It takes control of us.
We forget why we hate, what we hate, and whom we
hate – we simply hate for the sake of hating. And then,
naturally, we begin to hate ourselves too.
Everything and everyone you hate rents permanent
space in both your head and heart. So if you want to
eliminate something or someone from your mind,
don’t hate. Instead, disconnect yourself, move on, and
don’t look back.
5. Holding tight to worries and fears.
Someday when you look back over your life you’ll
realize that nearly all of your worries and anxious
fears never came to fruition – they were completely
unfounded. So why not wake up and realize this right
now. When you look back over the last few years, how
many opportunities for joy did you destroy with
needless worry and negativity? Although there’s
nothing you can do about these lost joys, there’s
plenty you can do about the ones that are still to
come.
You will find that it’s necessary to let some things go
simply for the reason that they’re heavy on your heart
and soul. Let go of them. Don’t clamp shackles to your
own ankles. It’s incredibly easy to enjoy more of your
life right now, no matter what the situation. It’s just a
matter of letting go of the layers of nonsense that are
weighing you down.
Let go of your worries and fears, of your rage and
jealousy, of your need to always be right and control
others. Let go of your pretentiousness and your need
to have everything your way. Underneath all these
layers of nonsense there is a happy, productive
person. When you start peeling them off and simply
appreciating everything for what it is, life can be
wonderfully fulfilling.
6. Dwelling on difficulties.
A bad day is just a bad day. Choose not to make it
anything more. Times of adversity will inevitably affect
the conditions in which you live and work; yet you
don’t have to let it affect who you are and where
you’re headed. Take note of the setbacks and adjust to
them, but don’t expand on them by making them a
bigger part of your life.
Every day brings new lessons and new possibilities.
There is always a way to take the next step forward on
the path you’ve chosen. Events may be terrible and
inescapable at times, but you always have choice – if
not when, then how, you may endure and proceed
onward.
7. Constantly seeking fleeting contentment.
There are two variations of contentment in life –
fleeting and enduring. The fleeting type is derived
from instants of material comfort, while the enduring
type is attained through the gradual growth of your
mind. At a glimpse it might be difficult to decipher one
from the other, but as time rolls on it becomes vividly
obvious that the latter is far superior.
Enduring contentment sustains itself through life’s ups
and downs, because through them your mind remains
confident and at peace. On the other hand, when life’s
fleeting changes have the ability to ruffle your mind
into a frenzy, even the most elaborate physical
comforts won’t make you any happier for very long.
8. Trying to make a big difference all at once.
If you want to make a difference in the world, start
with the world around you. Making a big difference all
at once is usually impossible, and the process of trying
is extremely stressful. However, instantly making a
difference in a few lives is entirely possible and usually
fairly easy. You just have to focus on one person at a
time and start with the one closest to you.
Work to make a bunch of small splashes, and let the
ripples spread naturally. If you want to change a
person’s mind or mood, sometimes you have to
change the minds or moods of the people around
them first. For instance, if you make one person smile,
their smile just might make others smile too. In this
subtle way, you can touch the masses with your
thoughtfulness without stressing yourself out.
9. Holding on to someone who hurts you.
Sometimes you have to walk away from people, not
because you don’t care, but because they don’t. When
someone hurts you time and time again, accept the
fact that they don’t care about you. It’s a tough pill to
swallow, but it’s necessary medicine. Do NOT strive to
impress them any further. Waste not another second
of your time trying to prove something to them.
Nothing needs to be proven. Do not act with any
thought of them ever again.
10. Over-amplifying the importance of
physical attractiveness.
Infatuating yourself with someone simply for what
they look like on the outside is like choosing your
favorite food based on color instead of taste. It makes
no sense. It’s innate, invisible, unquantifiable
characteristics that create lasting attraction.
Just as some people enjoy the smell of mint, while
others prefer the scent of cinnamon, there is an
undeniable, magnetic draw that attracts you to the
qualities of certain people, places, and things.
Sometimes it’s even the scars your soul shares with
them that reels you in and creates the very hinges that
hold you together in the long run.
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